The Corrupted Wish Game

[Raven]

Granted but in place with the cold you are struck down with a lifelong uncureable debilitating illness

I wish I could fly

 

[Kawaii]

Granted, but you get sucked into a jet engine.

I wish i had more spare time(is that even possible?).

 

[Stop Laughing]

but it's all from your very own padded cell

I wish I was better at fixing things around here...

 

[Oz]

Granted. But your new found technical genius doesn't stop with fixin'......you inadvertantly create the first fully working time machine while attempting to fix the telly......unfortunately it whips you back in time to the iceage, with no means of return, unless yer can find a prehistoric telly.

I wish my music could go louder.....I've reached the volume limit-tolerance on me headphones.

 

[Kawaii]

Granted. Your music is now playing at 1000dB, causing the earth to disintegrate into a cloud of space dust.

I wish for omnipotence.

 

[Stop Laughing]

but whoever grants the wishes mishears you and you get impotence instead.

I wish I could be more 'subtle'

 

[Kawaii]

Granted. You're now so subtle nobody can figure out what the hell you mean.

I wish for impotence and a wish-granting genie with a hearing problem.

 

[Raven]

Granted but the genie mishears you as 'Riverdance' and you are doomed to this for all eternity.

I wish money grew on trees

 

[Kawaii]

Granted, but the currency changes to anvils just as you're out picking money.

I wish people could all just get along.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, all people are now dumber than sheep and monkeys take over the world by default.

I wish I actually had somewhere to go tonight...

 

[BeardofPants]

Granted, all people are now dumber than sheep and monkeys take over the world by default.

I wish I actually had somewhere to go tonight...

Granted, but it's squiring your little sister to the dance.

I wish all my end-of-semester assignments were done.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

granted, but a three year old completed them in crayon squiggles and you have completely failed.

i wish to find someone ultimately right for me.

 

[Kittie]

Granted, but that someone... is not human, nor are they alive.

I wish that I could convince... that guy that I am right for him.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

granted, but "that guy" is too vague and now a 46 year old drunkard from some odd place is arranging marriage plans.

i wish my minidisk player would let me record from cd's magically and without me needing any technical electrnics hooking-up knowledge.

 

[Kittie]

granted, but the magic backfires, and you die.

I wish that I had a day off this week


((you KNOW who "that guys is.. lol))

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

granted, but the day off is due to you falling out of a tree and breaking your hip, and the next day it's back to work in a body cast and wheelchair, completely woozy from painkillers.

i wish i did not have so much phlegm in my throat.

 

[Kittie]

granted, but instead your throat is covered in cum. Oh wait no... you can't open your mouth that wide... now there are cicada's in your throat.

I wish that there were no bugs in the world.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

granted, but lots of medicinal applications have needed to be abandoned which has lead to many horrors in the medical field and crazy bad shit is happening.
and all the insect-eating bats die and in a fit of sadness ash mauls you.

i wish there was an extra day to the weekend and one less day of the typical working week.

 

[Kittie]

Granted, but that extra weekend day is called "Death Day," and everyone dies. The day missing in the week... was the day to cancel out death day, the one that ket everyone alive. the only one surviving is Kittie, and she has her way with you know who's dead body... ehem...

i wish I had a gigantic penis.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

GRANTED! BUT! it is soooooo huge, it blocks all your vision and no one can see you all they see is the humongous cock. it also is diseased and hairy, and smells awful and everyone abandons you because they miss kittie and do not welcome your disgusting member.

i wish i had a pet giraffe.