Top ten things that I had never expected to say, until I became a father

MrBishop

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
Top ten things that I had never expected to say, until I became a father

10. Isn’t that cute, he’s kissing the cat’s butt

9. It was only a small ant...it’s not like he’s going to ruin his appetite

8. Don’t pull so hard on your penis, it’ll come off
7. Only one finger in your nose at once, OK?
6. Stop licking the floor
5. That (my mini-me) is not a toy
4. Hold still, I’m trying to clean your butt
3. Get that cookie out of your nose
2. Maybe if we give him another dose, he’ll fall asleep

And, the number one thing that I had never expected to say until I became a father


I’m too tired for sex
 
MR Bishop are you really a dad? You seem to have missed the number one word that every parent hates and yet must use 10 times day...


poopie
(shivers)
 
some of you may have already seen this, but it fits the post and i am a proud mom.

my 2 yr old decides to help her sister to more cereal.
 
PostCode said:
I've got five of the little crumb gabbers. Anyone else stupid enough to have that many?
Click to expand...


Posty, ya need to buy a telly or summit :eh: ;)

Ain't got none of me own.........but I'm kinda the "adopted dad" of my friends three lil' horrors..........erm, darlin's I mean :)
 
HeXp£Øi± said:
MR Bishop are you really a dad? You seem to have missed the number one word that every parent hates and yet must use 10 times day...


poopie
(shivers)
Click to expand...

Poopie..ah yes, I've dealt with that one 3 times already. My little monster fell asleep just moments ago. Didn't want to hear anything about it until I had him on the bed and Ginger, one of my cats, came over and lay down. JAG put his head on Ginger's belly and listened to the purrs until he fell asleep.

Needless to say, that Ginger got himself a pile o' Katnip for it :)

Here's JAG
 
BTW...in case you were wondering. That's not a list I found somewhere. I created it when I realized that I had just told my son to not lick the floor...and realized what I'd just said.

MrsBishop and I are aiming for 3 kids max. I think that that's more than enough. :)
 
MrBishop said:
Poopie..ah yes, I've dealt with that one 3 times already. My little monster fell asleep just moments ago. Didn't want to hear anything about it until I had him on the bed and Ginger, one of my cats, came over and lay down. JAG put his head on Ginger's belly and listened to the purrs until he fell asleep.

Needless to say, that Ginger got himself a pile o' Katnip for it :)

Here's JAG
Click to expand...

he's adorable.

hey, posty- i prefer the term tricycle motors.
 
PostCode said:
I've got five of the little crumb gabbers. Anyone else stupid enough to have that many?
Click to expand...

Crocheted condoms not working then? ;)

Nope, got no children of my own, but I simply adore my sister's little one - got me wrapped around his little finger & he knows it the little bugger
 
PostCode said:
Life.....I have no life.


The really sad thing is, none of them are mine. I married into it.

:dipshit:
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Ah well postcode......."to the brave belongs all" or so they say :)

although they may not have been thinking of full diapers and kids painting the bathtub with nail varnish when they said that
 
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