Top ten things that I had never expected to say, until I became a father

Poor postcode my ass! :lol2: That certainly takes care of all that nasty "sex" business - no you can settle down to the real bliss of married life - continuous arguments over who's turn it is to do the dishes, fighting over the remote control, deciding when exactly to have your house declared a warzone & apply for financial assistance from the UN, etc, etc, etc
 
AlphaTroll said:
to have your house declared a warzone & apply for financial assistance from the UN
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what an outstanding idea. it's brilliance! i will apply forthwith...
 
tonks said:
what an outstanding idea. it's brilliance! i will apply forthwith...
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After babysitting this morning I'd settle for asylum due to dangerous living conditions ;)

They go back to school on Wednesday..........woohoo!
 
bleach said:
After babysitting this morning I'd settle for asylum due to dangerous living conditions ;)

They go back to school on Wednesday..........woohoo!
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they're like little miniature tornadoes blowing around the house. they crack me up though. my oldests new thing is saying "look. mommy, i shake my bootie." yeah...her daddy taught her that, the disco song was on and they were dancing.
"shake, shake, shake
shake, shake, shake
shake your bootie - ow!"
 
tonks said:
what an outstanding idea. it's brilliance! i will apply forthwith...
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It's that or locking them in cages - and we know what the general verdict on that idea is innit ? ;)

Oy, bleach - wonder who'll be happier for the twins to go back to school - you, Jacks, or them - I have it on good authority that you're more of a kid than the pair of them & lil' bro combined :D
 
tonks said:
they're like little miniature tornadoes blowing around the house. they crack me up though. my oldests new thing is saying "look. mommy, i shake my bootie." yeah...her daddy taught her that, the disco song was on and they were dancing.
"shake, shake, shake
shake, shake, shake
shake your bootie - ow!"
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Miniature tornadoes?.........yeesh more like hurricane charlie on steriods :D (where do they get the energy from?.......I couldn't dash around and cause so much chaos on meth :confused: ) :D

Oy, bleach - wonder who'll be happier for the twins to go back to school - you, Jacks, or them - I have it on good authority that you're more of a kid than the pair of them & lil' bro combined
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Definitly Jacke :D She looked like she was gonna break down and weep when I took them back this afternoon ;)
 
bleach said:
Definitly Jacke :D She looked like she was gonna break down and weep when I took them back this afternoon ;)
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And you were probably smiling from ear to ear - surprised she didn't try & bribe ye with a bottle of rum :D
 
bleach said:
She refuses to bribe me alcohol :(
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Got a few things to lear then - I'd be dropping them off at yer door with a bottle in hand - each hand............of each kid.............and feel free to give them some ;)
 
AlphaTroll said:
Got a few things to lear then - I'd be dropping them off at yer door with a bottle in hand - each hand............of each kid.............and feel free to give them some ;)
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I don't believe in giving kids alcohol.............let the bugger buy there own ;)

Anytime ya need a babysitter hun, just lemme know :)
 
bleach said:
I don't believe in giving kids alcohol.............let the bugger buy there own ;)

Anytime ya need a babysitter hun, just lemme know :)
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IO agree there no alcohol for the kiddies---SHIT--- need it for myself...
 
I used to give my cousin sips of beer when he was 12, hes 18 now and hammers up good craic, wonder if i played a part in that? :D
 
bleach said:
where do they get the energy from?.......
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Sad thing is, at one time we had that much energy too. :rofl:

Oh, and Bish? You forgot, "Dammit, he peed on me again!"
 
Things I have heard myself say:

Get off your sister’s head!
Where did you put your sister?
Why is your sister in the laundry basket?
Why is the cat in the laundry basket?
Who put the cat in the dryer?
Where did you put the cat?
What? WHERE did you put your banana??
Yes honey, cereal does float in the toilet.
I don’t know why your poop is green, baby.
No, honey, Aunty Patty didn’t eat the baby. Yes, the baby is in her belly, but….no honey, mommy didn’t poo you out….
Don’t stick your finger in your bum.
Don’t sniff your finger after sticking it in your bum.
Don’t stick your finger in your sister’s bum.

And one thing I NEVER thought I would hear myself say…
Because I am your Mother, and I said so!
 
Just the other day.....

"Why did you empty my shaving cream into the toilet?"
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"I don't know..."

:shakes head in despair:
 
Camelyn said:
Things I have heard myself say:

Get off your sister?s head!
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UMM...

Don?t stick your finger in your bum.
Don?t sniff your finger after sticking it in your bum.
Don?t stick your finger in your sister?s bum.
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Have you considered a shrink for that kid?
 
PostCode said:
Just the other day.....

"Why did you empty my shaving cream into the toilet?"
.
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"I don't know..."

:shakes head in despair:
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hahaha, ive done weirder stuff, trust me
 
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