Best babysitter ever! It shows up on time, costs a lot less... of course, when it's time to take the baby back, it gets to be a rather, umm, sticky situation.
President Bush at the State of The Union Address 2008: (ignoring the teleprompter he so desparately needs): "No more Mr. nice guys, 'merica has a new top-secretiveness type of weapon of personal destructionitivity!....Don't misunderestimate us no more! We're sending in Charles...." *secret serviceman whispers in his ear* "Sending in Chuck Norris! Astala-sayanara! Bin Laden, prepare to meet your genesis...." *secret servicemen whispers in his ear* "Nemesis!" *confused applause* " 'merica, will not tolorate malevolentivity from foreign agents of criminalistical organizations dedicated to terror and destructivity no damn longer!" *a few people clap* *crickets* *silence* (He steps down from the podium) *Wild applause from the right side of the aisle.....Confused blank stares mixed with shocked looks of horror from the left*
"Because at John Deere, we are sensitive to the needs of the gay farmer with a sore ass, our new line of tractors without seats....."
*crickets*
"Since we have moved our headquarters to San Francisco and started hiring bay area residents, sales are down 350%, I wonder why?"
*more crickets join in*
Adam to his gay husband Steve: "That new lawnmower you got was just fabulous! I just wish you'd have got the mauve one instead of chartruse. Maybe next year they'll come out in pastel pink and we can get a new one...."