CDC: Suicide rate among US girls soars

Inkara1

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
Error said:
My father caused my boyfriend to be a psychotic suicidal drug addict?
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No. But might your father issues have anything to do with why you chose to be with him, even when he didn't consider you enough of a girlfriend to share his intimate moments with, instead going off and, as you describe it, fucking pretty much any guy he could find?

My father caused my siblings to hate me and TELL me to commit suicide? Often?
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It's possible. If your siblings had that sort of lasting contempt for you, there has to be some reason why, and if they think you had something to do with your father leaving, that could certainly do it. For the record, I'm not expressing or implying that you had any fault in your father leaving, but it's certainly possible that your siblings think that way.

My father caused the people in school to treat me the way that they did? That lead to my complete lack of self esteem?
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Kids look for something different and fixate on that to pick on as a way to build themselves up. You being angry and bitter about him leaving can also affect your mood and behavior, causing more ridicule, scorn, etc., which can send your self-esteem into a tailspin, which causes more problems, and it's a vicious circle. So yes, it's very possible.

My father is the reason I had no friends? The reason I was such a loner?
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Most people don't want to be friends with someone that will being them down.

My dad's been out of my life for the last 9 years... he's had nothing to do with how school was for me, who my boyfriend was, and how people treated me.
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The theory here is that he affected you, and that effect changed you and led to all the other stuff you describe.

GOD DAMN you people... like I'm stupid and I wouldn't know if there were deeper emotional issues attached to him that drove me to that... I know... I spend a good fucking amount of my life fucking being a god damn counselor to my fucking friends. I can read emotions and reactions through and through by now... it would blow your fucking minds. You know shit about me so stop fucking acting like you're fucking geniuses because you're 40.
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You're not taking the whole causation thing far enough. You say your suicidal thoughts come from your ex-boyfriend and your poor social life. But go another step up the ladder... What led you to make the choices that led to those problems? THAT is where Gato's assertion of father issues comes into play. I happen to think that's a very plausible possibility. If it's not father issues that's one step up the ladder, then I would like to know what it is instead that's one step up the ladder.
 
Inkara1

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
My dad has some naval jelly. It works great for getting rust off a bumper. I just think it's a funny name.
 
BlurOfSerenity

BlurOfSerenity

New Member
mmm, kentucky jelly.... *thinking of that old joke with the old lady*
and, i channelsurfed past the 700 club earlier.
and, inky is smart. but i'm biased.
 
Inkara1

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
Although Mass Communication and Journalism is a BA degree, a lot of people would claim journalists hold "BS" degrees.
 
Error

Error

Banned
Inkara1 said:
No. But might your father issues have anything to do with why you chose to be with him, even when he didn't consider you enough of a girlfriend to share his intimate moments with, instead going off and, as you describe it, fucking pretty much any guy he could find?

It's possible. If your siblings had that sort of lasting contempt for you, there has to be some reason why, and if they think you had something to do with your father leaving, that could certainly do it. For the record, I'm not expressing or implying that you had any fault in your father leaving, but it's certainly possible that your siblings think that way.

Kids look for something different and fixate on that to pick on as a way to build themselves up. You being angry and bitter about him leaving can also affect your mood and behavior, causing more ridicule, scorn, etc., which can send your self-esteem into a tailspin, which causes more problems, and it's a vicious circle. So yes, it's very possible.

Most people don't want to be friends with someone that will being them down.

The theory here is that he affected you, and that effect changed you and led to all the other stuff you describe.

You're not taking the whole causation thing far enough. You say your suicidal thoughts come from your ex-boyfriend and your poor social life. But go another step up the ladder... What led you to make the choices that led to those problems? THAT is where Gato's assertion of father issues comes into play. I happen to think that's a very plausible possibility. If it's not father issues that's one step up the ladder, then I would like to know what it is instead that's one step up the ladder.
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1. My father had nothing to do with the fact that I stayed with him. I love Dan and I would have and would still stay with him through anything. I love him too much for my own good. Nothing to do with my dad...

2. They don't. They just hate me. :)

3. You just invent this "you being angry and bitter" bit to make that a result of my dad... nah. My first few years of high school, I had a lot of friends... I was really happy all the time... and then one day, and I mean this literally because it LITERALLY happened... one day at lunch I went to sit at *our table* and they refused to let me sit. From that day on, they just wouldn't be my friends anymore. I still don't know why, and I still remember that day that hour each and every one of those minutes because I'd never hurt so much. That had nothing to do with my father or my own behavior... it was the kids.

4. See 3.

5. Of course his being a complete douchebag "EFFECTED" me... I'm not saying I was 100% unphased, but what I am saying is that my contemplating suicide for as long as I have, honestly and truly had N O T H I N G to do with him. For the most part, it was Dan. And what percentage of it wasn't Dan, was everything else I mentioned.

And by the way, just because I said "self esteem" doesn't mean I 'don't do anything productive'.... whoever mentioned that is...wrong........
 
Inkara1

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
Were any of your siblings also attending your high school at the time your friends abandoned you? If so, perhaps that sibling told your friends something about you, either something true and unflattering, or something untrue. There's a reason they abandoned you, whether it's something true or false. People don't just instantly abandon a friend out of the blue for no reason.

I can't believe that your siblings hate you and gang up on you for no reason. Something's up. A first-born child might hate the second-born child because the second-born made the first-born not an only chil anymore. Or other times, parents will play favorites and the other kids will resent the favorite. Or maybe a kid will do something, get in trouble, the parents disagree on the punishment and a fight breaks out, and a year or two later they end up divorced, so even though the divorce has a different cause, the kids' first knowledge of cracks in the armor was the punishment fight, and thus conclude that if the one kid hadn't gotten in trouble, mommy and daddy would still be together. All of it is irrational, but we're also talking about kids here. Did your siblings hate you and tell you that kind of stuff fir the first 11 years of your life before your dad left?

The "angry and bitter" thing isn't invented. It's how you come across on this board, and not just in this thread.

But the whole point of that post was really to show why, despite you saying your suicidal thoughts were caused by your siblings, ex-friends and Dan, Gato saying daddy issues had something to do with it doesn't make him stupid and it doesn't make us "get off on attcking girls." You were saying what the direct causes were... we were talking about an indirect cause, which would cause the things that directly caused the suicidal thoughts.
 
Error

Error

Banned
Inkara1 said:
Were any of your siblings also attending your high school at the time your friends abandoned you? If so, perhaps that sibling told your friends something about you, either something true and unflattering, or something untrue. There's a reason they abandoned you, whether it's something true or false. People don't just instantly abandon a friend out of the blue for no reason.

I can't believe that your siblings hate you and gang up on you for no reason. Something's up. A first-born child might hate the second-born child because the second-born made the first-born not an only chil anymore. Or other times, parents will play favorites and the other kids will resent the favorite. Or maybe a kid will do something, get in trouble, the parents disagree on the punishment and a fight breaks out, and a year or two later they end up divorced, so even though the divorce has a different cause, the kids' first knowledge of cracks in the armor was the punishment fight, and thus conclude that if the one kid hadn't gotten in trouble, mommy and daddy would still be together. All of it is irrational, but we're also talking about kids here. Did your siblings hate you and tell you that kind of stuff fir the first 11 years of your life before your dad left?
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First, if there is some reason my "friends" did that to me, I haven't the foggiest idea what it could be. My siblings are both younger, and at the time my friends shit all over me, they were waaay still in grade school.

Second, my siblings couldn't hate me because of anything related to dad... when all that shit was happening with dad, they were so young they barely remember anything at all. They do gang up on me with the whole "omg U R TWINY N STILL LIVING WITH YER MAUM OMG FUCKING LOSER" which, honestly, I know they don't give a fuck about that, it's that if I leave, they think they'll get more *stuff*... which is stupid because I don't take from them. My sister is about to be 16, so you kknnooww we clash like crazy... and it's just worse because I'm the... like... artsy expressive "fuck what you or anyone else thinks" type... and she's the stuck up bitchy "I deserve the world and the right to shit all over people like YOU"... so yeah... she basically thinks she IS glamour magazine. :shrug:

The shit with the sibs is shit that I don't cause, and isn't dad-related.

I think it's ridiculous that after all this time and that little fight... you still insist that I'm just oblivious to this huge emotional problem that I HAVE because YOU SAYS I HAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I am an intelligent person, I know my own background, my own thoughts, my own emotions, and I don't appreciate this. It might make you feel really good to pull the "I'm older, I know." thing, but please spare me. I don't care how old you are, you may be real experienced with life, but not my life. I don't read every post you make and question everything you say... I don't try to convince you that I know your thoughts and emotions better than you do, so please have the same fucking courtesy with me. Thanks.
 
Winky

Winky

Well-Known Member
he must have been in 'error' ?
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markjs

markjs

Banned
Things I have learned in life, and it's pointed at the discussion and everyone involved in it....

If two people or more call you a horse, check your back and you'll probably find a saddle.

If someone says something about you and it isn't said as just an insult in anger, and you immediately get defensive and angry, there is probably some validity to it.

If you see something you don't like in another person, you probably have some of the same qualities in yourself and are not happy about it and possibly in total denial.

If you are doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, you are partaking in insanity.

If you are ok with you, then fuck what anyone thinks, but if you have behaviors that cause you grief, and are not working to change, you are cheating yourself.

Most of your problems, and I mean like 95% in life, are of your own making.
 
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