fallopian dilemma

[Leslie]

you know what? i asked myself what i would do if i won a trillion dollars and had no cares...do you know what i answered? built a house on a bunch of land, live there in bliss when i wasn't travelling the world. does a baby fit in with this? no. so if i can't financially afford another baby now and wouldn't have one if i could why should i just take care of the surgery while i am relatively young and strong?

Yeah...see, I'm not there yet. I have half a feeling that I totally would do it all over again. So I haven't done it and probably won't.

You've got some good thinking to do over the next little bit. If you're really positive, and have thought on those lines for a long time, I say do it. But if you still have that little niggling doubt, I hope you wait a bit longer just to see where your mind takes you. An IUD or something like can give you a couple years to think if need be.

 

[kuulani]

well, tonsky, everyone has said their piece, & here's mine ...

my mom had my sister at 39, and although I was only 11 at the time, I seem to remember talks of abortion because of her age. thankfully, that didn't happen & my sister was born.

now, although my sister drives me crazy at times, i can't imagine life without her.

so, my suggestion would be to leave your tubes untied

 

[kuulani]

apparently, these new studies about long term depo use and a loss of bone density are being taken seriously by the government because medicaid will not let you stay on it longer than a year and a half.

...and let me just add that i love my depo too & don't want to give it up any time soon!!

 

[PrincessLissa]

I would talk to Rob and see if he wouldn't mind gettng the snip. It's much easier, requires no surgery and only takes a doctor's visit.

If this is for your girlie problems, I would try the IUD just ot be sure about that little boy.

This baby will be my second and I am done having children. I agree with you. By the time I would be financially comfertable not just with my two, but also a third one, I would be older and ready to start doing things for me again. Erik doesn't want anymore either. He already thinks of Alex as his daughter and with another one on the way he says he only wants two. He is going to get the snip after Athena is born unless I need a C-section and then I am going to have them tie me up. I am unable to take the pill or Depo, and an IUD is not recomended for me due to my tilted inner parts and the higher chances of devolping cervical cancer. Only problem is that I will not yet be 25 or have three kids which I think is the requirments here unless you have a medical problem. I plan to talk to the doc soon about it.

Anyway, now that you know more than you have ever wanted to about my girlie parts, just be sure that you are done. Reversing the procedure on a female is mych harder and less likely to work than it is on a male.

 

[tonksy]

the thing is is that i feel guilty saying i want more time for me...but it's true. i'd like to be able to take a walk and wind up at the local pub for a drink but i can't do this for several years now. i made my choice to have children and i am happy with it but there is no need to set the clock back.
i plan on calling tomorrow to make an appointment to discuss it with a doctor.

 

[Luis G]

Anyway, now that you know more than you have ever wanted to about my girlie parts, just be sure that you are done. Reversing the procedure on a female is mych harder and less likely to work than it is on a male.

AFAIK, there's no reverse procedure for the vasectomy.

 

[Inkara1]

Yeah there is. I once saw a billboard advertising the procedure on Interstate 40 just west of Needles, CA.

 

[PrincessLissa]

AFAIK, there's no reverse procedure for the vasectomy.

Yes there is. I've seen it on a lot of discovery chanel shows and even once on a makeover show. I think it was Extreme Makeover. Sometimes the two tubes (in male and female parts) will connect on thier own. It's a freak occurance, but they showed us in some High School "Don't have Sex" class.

http://www.vasectomymedical.com/vasectomy-reversal-procedure.html
http://www.vasectomymedical.com/vasectomy-reversal-success-rates.html

 

[nalani]

that's a toughy, tonksy ... not sure if what I offer is advice, but since everyone is giving their two cents, I thought I should jump on LOL

I'm 36 and still have all my reproductive organs intact. Does that scare me? To DEATH! My family has a habit of starting 'second families' ... my mom started the second set of children in her late 30's .. my sister, brother, and cousins all did the same ... .. my children are 'grown' (all in double digits) and care for me probably more than i care for them and i really like the freedom. In fact, over the holidays, I watched women with multiple children under 4 years of age shopping and I couldn't believe i did that once upon a time. School, work, kids, their schedules - I'd pull my hair out if I had another child at this point in my life. So why not 'fix' (pun not intended) the situation?

I am simply not ready to know that I can no longer have children. I didn't want any more with my husband, and don't want more now, that's for sure. I'm just not ready to know that I can't.

My cousin had a reverse tubal ligation and has had two beautiful children since (and then retied ) .. but because it's so expensive here, and not covered by insurance, she flew to the mainland to have it done. That's not something I can afford should I decide I want one more child. But the fact that it is reversible may be of some use in your decision making.

As for my thoughts on Depo-Provera, I would urge you to do more research on the long term effects. It took me upwards of 3 years to reverse the painful damage done to my cycle after only 3 injections.

I guess what I'm saying is look inside yourself for the answer. Ultimately, you're the only one who has it.

 

[kuulani]

As for my thoughts on Depo-Provera, I would urge you to do more research on the long term effects. It took me upwards of 3 years to reverse the painful damage done to my cycle after only 3 injections.

as i'm due for my next shot in a few weeks, that's something to think about.

 

[Gonz]

as i'm due for my next shot in a few weeks, that's something to think about.

read the link I provided several posts back before you do.

here

She also noted that in mid-November, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a black box warning on Depo-Provera stating, in essence, that bone density is lost and may not be regained, particularly when it is used for more than two years.

Epoch Times

 

[Leslie]

I am simply not ready to know that I can no longer have children. I didn't want any more with my husband, and don't want more now, that's for sure. I'm just not ready to know that I can't.

Yes! you nailed my sentiments

 

[PrincessLissa]

I understand the feeling of not being ready to know that I can't have children, but I certainly don't want anymore right now as it is a touch squeeze to take care of the one I have financially. I am allergic to a lot of birth control pills, I don't want to deal with Depo (besides the doctor said that it would be bad seeing as how the pills messed me up) and the doctor isn't too keen on the idea of an IUD due to my girlie parts.

I guess if I really want children later, I will have to go the pain and expense to get recversed, or have Erik go through it.

 

[AllEars']

I will speak up and say, tonsky, SNP and I went through the same thing about 6 months after we got together. (we have been together for almost 4 years now) My daughter is a pill baby, so that was not an option for me. He was very supportive of whatever choice I made. He and I would love to have a child that we created, but due to other things going on in our lives we know it is not something we need to venture into.

I have an IUD, I have had it for 3 years now. I love it. It took less then 10 minutes in the doctors office. I had some cramping afterwards, which they warned me about. They check it at my yearly exams and I have never had any problems with it. When and if the time comes that we decide we want to have a child then I make an appointmant and it is removed. If not it last for 10years by which time I should be going through the change and no need for birth control.

The choice is yours, just make you sure you talk to the doctor and get all your options, ask a lot of questions. Then take a few days to think it all over.

**One other thing with an IUD you have to have a pregnancy test 1 week before and NO SEX from that point till it is inserted.

 

[tonksy]

no sex for a week?...well then i'm definitely getting fixed...but seriously, thanks for answering. i plan on mulling this over further and there is a 30 waiting period but i think i have made my choice.

 

[Professur]

Well, I'd like to look at this discussion from another angle, if I may. Tonks, you've two happy, healthy girls. And a 1000 mile drive every second weekend. You think you'd like a boy. Said boy wouldn't be included in said 1000 mile drive. Not that there's any guarantee of a boy in the first place. You'd also have to start parenting 101 from scratch, since boys are completely different from girls. Hand-me-downs would be right out. Plus the need to keep the youngest in a room apart, and possibly making the 2 older kids share a room.

Then there's Rob's unwillingness to furnish offspring. I trust that little article has been worried to death before now, but I'd be curious as to why myself too. Wanna lie on the couch and tell Prof Freud about your lousy childhood?

Personally, without further information, there's no right answer. And noone here could ever give you the right answer. That comes from within. My missus said something about wanting a 4th for us. That ain't gonna happen. But the feelings are still there. And sometimes, you just have to make a decision and live with it. Noone likes doing that. That's why so many people today don't wanna get married. It limits options. But if anything limits your options more than kids, I don't wanna encounter it.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

As AE said earlier, we have wrangled the same issues ourselves. Due to my medical problems, a child for us right now is not a good idea.

I am the sole paternal grandson. Ergo, unless I have a son, our branch of the family tree dies with me. I allowed that little fact to pressure me for too many years. I felt like I owed it to my aged ancestors to have a son. After a long period of reflection, I decided that I want to have a child of my own. Then I got diagnosed with cancer...then chronic pancreatitis...now, I'm 38 and wondering if I ever will have a child of my own. That affects guys too, ya know. I want one for all the right reasons, but I also don't want one for all the right reasons. In the end, we'll be having another discussion after my surgery in March and we know more about what my life will be like. I consider it cruel to create a child that I may well not be alive to see through the school years. Of course, no one knows that anyway, but some odds may be stacked against me, so I feel like we have to think about it on that level.

The IUD has been a positive experience for AE so far as she has let me in on. The week of abstinence won't kill either of you, ya know. Just makes day number 8 a helluva lot of fun.

Gather your information, talk it over with those who matter to you, think about it, think about it some more, talk to your doctor again, then think about it even more. Then do what your heart and your gut tell you is right, and be at peace with it. It'll be right.

 

[unclehobart]

Then there's Rob's unwillingness to furnish offspring. I trust that little article has been worried to death before now, but I'd be curious as to why myself too. Wanna lie on the couch and tell Prof Freud about your lousy childhood?

That meant for me or her. To me it looks like her since the thought starts out talking about me rather than directed at me.

 

[ClaireBear]

You'd also have to start parenting 101 from scratch, since boys are completely different from girls.

Yup...

Girls require entertainment, answers to a thousand questions, leave them alone they'll be into everything, conversational, loud and articulate at a young age...

Boys... pass them a toy truck/car/action doll... plant on the floor... leave for about 3 hours.



So speaketh the reception/kindergarten teacher...

 

[Nixy]

Yup...

Girls require entertainment, answers to a thousand questions, leave them alone they'll be into everything, conversational, loud and articulate at a young age...

Boys... pass them a toy truck/car/action doll... plant on the floor... leave for about 3 hours.



So speaketh the reception/kindergarten teacher...

You shouldn't generalize...as a baby and youngster I was the child who could be left alone for hours with some toys and not cause any trouble or make any fuss, I was the child who would put myself to bed if I was tired, without even asking for my mom's assistance (once I was a year and a half/two years old-ish) she could be sitting on the couch while I was playing on the floor and I would just get up and go into my room, she'd come check on me 5 min later and I'd be sound asleep.

My brother on the other hand needed constant attention, if my mom went out of his sight he would scream and scream and scream. My mom couldn't even leave him with my dad and go out or he'd have a fit...even when he was 3 or 4 years old...

So, even though boys and girls are undoubtedly different you shouldn't place such broad generalizations.