The Corrupted Wish Game

[OldHippie]

Granted, but all his jokes are at your expense.

I wish that I'd hit the 200 million dollar Lotto

 

[markjs]

Granted, you hit the 200 million dollar yahoo sign on the front of a bus when iy flattens you.

I wish I'd win 200 million in tax free cash!

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. But given your political leanings, you just gave it all away to left handed gay albino Sanscrit speaking tree hugging AIDS babies from Pago Pago who lisp.


I wish this laundry would magically hang itself in the closet.

 

[tonksy]

Granted but all your shirts are one button out of alignment.

I wish people could return a person's email and phone calls.

 

[OldHippie]

Granted. But given your political leanings, you just gave it all away to left handed gay albino Sanscrit speaking tree hugging AIDS babies from Pago Pago who lisp.


I wish this laundry would magically hang itself in the closet.

HEY>>>>>>>>>>>>>. Whats wrong with being left handed????????????

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted but all your shirts are one button out of alignment.

They are when I hang 'em too...

Nuttin wrong with being a southpaw OK, just another minority.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

I wish people could return a person's email and phone calls.

Almost forgot to screw this'n up...

Granted. They all speak Mongolian though.


I wish I had a nice, fresh hardshell beef taco with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and jalapeno right....NOW!

 

[markjs]

Almost forgot to screw this'n up...

Granted. They all speak Mongolian though.


I wish I had a nice, fresh hardshell beef taco with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and jalapeno right....NOW!

Granted but you get food poisoning and never can eat tacos again.....

I wish I had a nice ribeye....

 

[Inkara1]

Granted but you're a vegan.

I wish this gigantic 32-page special section I have to do for the paper for the fall high school sports preview would do itself.

 

[OldHippie]

Wish Granted, but it ended up being 32 pages on Full Contact Dominoes.

I wish I was sleeping right now.

 

[markjs]

Granted, but you get "rip-van-winkled" and wake up in a time in the distant future where human females are pets for alien overlords, and unfortunaly being male you are merely livestock....

I wish I could make money writing satire....

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, but unfortunately you just signed a contract to write soap operas, good luck with that.

I wish I had something really cool to do (and doesn't involve winter or ice ).

 

[markjs]

You've just been hired to clean out a restaraunts walk in refrigerator, for minimum wage, and you got to do it cuz you're broke and have no other prospects.

I wish I had a peach tree in my yard with nice ripe peaches.

 

[Aunty Em]

Granted, but theres a big wasp's nest in it and those big angry waspies ain't gonna let you near it, 'cos they come after you if you're daft enough to set foot in the yard...

I wish I'd finshed decorating my lounge...

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. Ten minutes later you spill paint on the floor, slip on it, fall, dislocate your hip, and lie crying for help for six hours until you are rescued by a sweaty and overly-hormone influenced Boy George.

I wish my back would stop throbbing.

 

[markjs]

The doctor prescribes a new miracle, non narcotic, pain killer,and it works perfectly. For about an hour then, because you are allergic to it, you die!

I wish the Mariners would awaken from their slump and get the wildcard.

 

[Nixy]

Granted, they find an 8 of spades in their dressing room. Now they can change the suit to whatever they want in their next game of crazy eights!!

I wish it was thanksgiving weekend!

 

[Aunty Em]

Granted, you go out drinking with your mates and wake up on Thanksgiving without any idea what happened between now and then...

I wish my hip would stop hurting.

 

[Nixy]

First of all: OH NO! If I sleep until Thanksgiving day I'd have missed my flight!!!!

Second: Granted, you leg is amputated at the hip. No more hip pain!

I wish I could find a "nice boy", who is straight and likes me and lives relatively close to me.

 

[Aunty Em]

I didn't say you slept, I just said you don't remember what happened... big difference... LOL

Granted, but he's married with a dozen kids and wife who looks like she'd eat you for breakfast...

I wish I was charming and witty and could always think of a great putdown at the right time instead of 2 days later...