Bitch about work thread.
- Thread starter Altron
- Start date
BeardofPants
New Member
You could take her with you... that wouldn't be awkward at all. *lol*
Altron
Well-Known Member
well
in case i wasnt clear before, i had pretty much already told everyone that i was into her. she would need to be rather dense to not have picked up on it.
i decided that i'm not really into the whole 'game' aspect of dating. i'm honest. brutally so. to the point that i've caused loads of problems. i didn't want to do the whole 'hey, you wanna go see a movie' then wait three days and call thing.
I got my A-game on. i went in there, nervous as fuck.
i was really afraid, and i was afraid that i would give up as i had done probably 50 times before. instead, i just cut to the fucking chase.
at this point, i would like to request that nobody makes fun of how blunt i was, or possible mistakes. i fell for this gal really hard.
as i said before, i had a bad childhood. i regularly put on a veneer of extreme optimism. makes things kinda weird. i'm always really happy, and interpreting things in the best way possible. i took a lot of comments that she said as just casual conversation to be advances. however, if something really gets to me, i tend to temporarily fall apart. the past six months have been very tough on me. there have been times where I've felt absolutely wonderful around her, and times where i've been depressed and thinking that i hadnt got a shot. lots of sleep lost, lots of time spent daydreaming, when i finally would get to sleep i would have dreams involving her (not like sick perverted dreams, mostly dreams where i asked her out and she said yes, although one where she said no) really had my mind on her for a long time.
why? i don't know. i guess it might be that she's a hottie AND a really awesome person. during the first seventeen years of my life, i met plenty of girls who i thought were incrediably sexy, and plenty who were geniunely interesting and nice people. none who were both. the sexy ones, i admired from afar and never talked to. the nice ones, i hung out with, but never tried to take it any farther, and in several instances, actively avoided it. she's one of those nice ones, except that not only do I enjoy her company, I'm also very strongly attracted towards her, and she's older. i'm not trying to stroke my ego, but I'm pretty mature compared to most people my age. I hung out with people much older than me from a young age, and I kinda tried to keep up. i guess it kinda helped too that I got a very serious job at a young age. school? boring. i'm a mature and sophisticated working gentleman. i just find that gals a bit older are just far more interesting and exciting.
but, since I've given the whole "i like you as a friend but i don't want to take it farther" speech before, i dunno, it's weird.
hell, for quite some time, my feelings regarding women were "whatever, it will happen when it happens, and when i find the right gal", not really in any hury to have a girlfriend. i dont need one.
then, she kinda changed it up on me, and i thought that i was really into her, when, in fact, although she was close to the girl i was going for, she wasn't her. but, fuck, it was just because she was hot and awesome. if she was hot, i would have checked her out from a distance. but not really done anything about it. if she was nice, i would have made friends with her, but not really wanted to do anything more. but since she was both, i kinda fell for her big time. i had no idea what to do when confronted with a gal like that other than becoming somewhat obsessed with her.
i dunno, it was just that i was really attracted to her, yet she was really nice and i got along really well with her and i had a lot in common with her.
I was hoping that she would want to date me. there were certain inconveniences, sure. she's way older, and i'm still three years short of drinking (21 in the states), so that really cut down on things we could do together, especially since she is a serious barhopper and an alcoholic. having to choose between going to the bar with a bunch of friends or going out on a date every night would get tiring after awhile. that kind of stuff. i dunno, i guess i was just kinda caught up in it all.
so, I was like, fuck it, I'm going to go for it. If she likes me, fucking awesome, we can date and I'll be happy. If she doesn't want to, I'll be sad, but I'll survive.
so, since she already knew I was into her
i was confused and asked a lot of our mutual friends for advice,
and i'll admit to trying to tell her without telling her, yknow. like, making sure she knew i was into her without the nervousness of saying it myself.
, I was like
"you know how everyone says I have a huge crush on you"
then she says in a somewhat timid, somewhat questioning voice
"yea"
then I was like
"well, I do"
and she said she appreciated me telling her. and that she was flattered.
we sorta walked opposite directions. i paced for about 10 minutes, wondering what the fuck i was doing. she walked up to the front, presumably talking to her best friend.
she came back to talk to me. repeated that she appreciated me telling her and was flattered. told me that she likes me and she thinks i'm a great guy and that she still wants to hang out with me, but the age difference. for reference, she graduated high school when i was in the sixth grade. she graduated college in my sophomore year of high school. when i graduate college, she will be nearly 28. then she gave me a big high five (which is kinda our thing. im really into giving out high fives, and she told me that she is too) and then said that she needed to get out of here (this was a good 15 minutes after her shift ended) and left.
and, i was really down, and my buddies kept trying to cheer me up. but then i kindaq realized that i wasn't nearly as heartbroken as i expected.
then i remembered my old idea, that i wasn't in any hurry to get a gal, and that I'm a self made man. and i realized that it still holds true. i'm not going to pick up some sluts to cheer me up. she's still a damn good friend of mine. she's hot, too. but, you know what, that don't matter. we can be friends. we can hang out, but she wont feel obligated to hang out with me if she's doing other stuff, and I won't feel obligated to hang out with her if I'm doing other stuff (i kinda put most of my high school friends on hold to focus on her) since we'll both be happily single.
i used to say "bah, i'm too young to worry about serious relationships, i'm just having fun" then I got obsessed to her but now I'm back to where I was a year ago. i don't need her to make me happy. i have my own friends and my own stuff to do. she's still a wonderful person, though, and i still will hang out with her. maybe if im lucky, we'll hang out more, since it won't be awkward. i know that with the other gals that liked me, it was awkward when i knew that she was into me but i hadn't shot her down yet. i felt like i was giving them false hope when i would hang out. now i can be like "lets hang out" without any pretense of trying to date her.
then, in august, i can go off to college with all my options open, and pick up a nice gal in my age group.
like, with her, i would feel awkward at a party with her non-work friends, and she would feel awkward at a party with my non-work friends. we are cool hanging out with work people. and i can leave it at that.
with the yet-unknown college gal, i'll be the same age as her, do the same stuff as her.
i'm still heartbroken, but it aint as bad as i feared.
in case i wasnt clear before, i had pretty much already told everyone that i was into her. she would need to be rather dense to not have picked up on it.
i decided that i'm not really into the whole 'game' aspect of dating. i'm honest. brutally so. to the point that i've caused loads of problems. i didn't want to do the whole 'hey, you wanna go see a movie' then wait three days and call thing.
I got my A-game on. i went in there, nervous as fuck.
i was really afraid, and i was afraid that i would give up as i had done probably 50 times before. instead, i just cut to the fucking chase.
at this point, i would like to request that nobody makes fun of how blunt i was, or possible mistakes. i fell for this gal really hard.
as i said before, i had a bad childhood. i regularly put on a veneer of extreme optimism. makes things kinda weird. i'm always really happy, and interpreting things in the best way possible. i took a lot of comments that she said as just casual conversation to be advances. however, if something really gets to me, i tend to temporarily fall apart. the past six months have been very tough on me. there have been times where I've felt absolutely wonderful around her, and times where i've been depressed and thinking that i hadnt got a shot. lots of sleep lost, lots of time spent daydreaming, when i finally would get to sleep i would have dreams involving her (not like sick perverted dreams, mostly dreams where i asked her out and she said yes, although one where she said no) really had my mind on her for a long time.
why? i don't know. i guess it might be that she's a hottie AND a really awesome person. during the first seventeen years of my life, i met plenty of girls who i thought were incrediably sexy, and plenty who were geniunely interesting and nice people. none who were both. the sexy ones, i admired from afar and never talked to. the nice ones, i hung out with, but never tried to take it any farther, and in several instances, actively avoided it. she's one of those nice ones, except that not only do I enjoy her company, I'm also very strongly attracted towards her, and she's older. i'm not trying to stroke my ego, but I'm pretty mature compared to most people my age. I hung out with people much older than me from a young age, and I kinda tried to keep up. i guess it kinda helped too that I got a very serious job at a young age. school? boring. i'm a mature and sophisticated working gentleman. i just find that gals a bit older are just far more interesting and exciting.
but, since I've given the whole "i like you as a friend but i don't want to take it farther" speech before, i dunno, it's weird.
hell, for quite some time, my feelings regarding women were "whatever, it will happen when it happens, and when i find the right gal", not really in any hury to have a girlfriend. i dont need one.
then, she kinda changed it up on me, and i thought that i was really into her, when, in fact, although she was close to the girl i was going for, she wasn't her. but, fuck, it was just because she was hot and awesome. if she was hot, i would have checked her out from a distance. but not really done anything about it. if she was nice, i would have made friends with her, but not really wanted to do anything more. but since she was both, i kinda fell for her big time. i had no idea what to do when confronted with a gal like that other than becoming somewhat obsessed with her.
i dunno, it was just that i was really attracted to her, yet she was really nice and i got along really well with her and i had a lot in common with her.
I was hoping that she would want to date me. there were certain inconveniences, sure. she's way older, and i'm still three years short of drinking (21 in the states), so that really cut down on things we could do together, especially since she is a serious barhopper and an alcoholic. having to choose between going to the bar with a bunch of friends or going out on a date every night would get tiring after awhile. that kind of stuff. i dunno, i guess i was just kinda caught up in it all.
so, I was like, fuck it, I'm going to go for it. If she likes me, fucking awesome, we can date and I'll be happy. If she doesn't want to, I'll be sad, but I'll survive.
so, since she already knew I was into her
i was confused and asked a lot of our mutual friends for advice,
and i'll admit to trying to tell her without telling her, yknow. like, making sure she knew i was into her without the nervousness of saying it myself.
, I was like
"you know how everyone says I have a huge crush on you"
then she says in a somewhat timid, somewhat questioning voice
"yea"
then I was like
"well, I do"
and she said she appreciated me telling her. and that she was flattered.
we sorta walked opposite directions. i paced for about 10 minutes, wondering what the fuck i was doing. she walked up to the front, presumably talking to her best friend.
she came back to talk to me. repeated that she appreciated me telling her and was flattered. told me that she likes me and she thinks i'm a great guy and that she still wants to hang out with me, but the age difference. for reference, she graduated high school when i was in the sixth grade. she graduated college in my sophomore year of high school. when i graduate college, she will be nearly 28. then she gave me a big high five (which is kinda our thing. im really into giving out high fives, and she told me that she is too) and then said that she needed to get out of here (this was a good 15 minutes after her shift ended) and left.
and, i was really down, and my buddies kept trying to cheer me up. but then i kindaq realized that i wasn't nearly as heartbroken as i expected.
then i remembered my old idea, that i wasn't in any hurry to get a gal, and that I'm a self made man. and i realized that it still holds true. i'm not going to pick up some sluts to cheer me up. she's still a damn good friend of mine. she's hot, too. but, you know what, that don't matter. we can be friends. we can hang out, but she wont feel obligated to hang out with me if she's doing other stuff, and I won't feel obligated to hang out with her if I'm doing other stuff (i kinda put most of my high school friends on hold to focus on her) since we'll both be happily single.
i used to say "bah, i'm too young to worry about serious relationships, i'm just having fun" then I got obsessed to her but now I'm back to where I was a year ago. i don't need her to make me happy. i have my own friends and my own stuff to do. she's still a wonderful person, though, and i still will hang out with her. maybe if im lucky, we'll hang out more, since it won't be awkward. i know that with the other gals that liked me, it was awkward when i knew that she was into me but i hadn't shot her down yet. i felt like i was giving them false hope when i would hang out. now i can be like "lets hang out" without any pretense of trying to date her.
then, in august, i can go off to college with all my options open, and pick up a nice gal in my age group.
like, with her, i would feel awkward at a party with her non-work friends, and she would feel awkward at a party with my non-work friends. we are cool hanging out with work people. and i can leave it at that.
with the yet-unknown college gal, i'll be the same age as her, do the same stuff as her.
i'm still heartbroken, but it aint as bad as i feared.
Gato_Solo
Out-freaking-standing OTC member
When I was at the beach with Caity tonight, we heard this boom that sounded like a cannon going off. We werenm't sure what it was... but now I know it was the hole being torn in the space-time continuum because you actually asked.
Something leaving the coast from Edwards?...
Wow, I must say I'm surprised that you actually asked here out
Sorry it didn't work. My advice for the next time is not to wait until you're desperate to do it. As you can see, it isn't that bad to be rejected and you might as well get rejected (or accepted) sooner.
Sorry it didn't work. My advice for the next time is not to wait until you're desperate to do it. As you can see, it isn't that bad to be rejected and you might as well get rejected (or accepted) sooner.
Altron
Well-Known Member
I was just nervous since she was way outta my league.
football analogy
I mean, I'm Tom Brady, I threw a wicked pass on first and ten, woulda been a TD, possibly a game winning TD, but it was incomplete. But it wasn't intercepted, and I wasn't sacked. So now I'm second and ten. I still have plenty of time to get a TD, and I'm still Tom Brady (therefore, I kick ass, I have a kickass team, and I still have the best postseason record in the NFL). I might try another long TD pass. I might try a short pass for a first down. I might try running it. Or I might call a time out.
I'm considering this equivalent to an incomplete pass. A sack would have been if she told me that she flat out didn't like me. An interception would have been if she told me that I was a loser and she hated me.
football analogy
I mean, I'm Tom Brady, I threw a wicked pass on first and ten, woulda been a TD, possibly a game winning TD, but it was incomplete. But it wasn't intercepted, and I wasn't sacked. So now I'm second and ten. I still have plenty of time to get a TD, and I'm still Tom Brady (therefore, I kick ass, I have a kickass team, and I still have the best postseason record in the NFL). I might try another long TD pass. I might try a short pass for a first down. I might try running it. Or I might call a time out.
I'm considering this equivalent to an incomplete pass. A sack would have been if she told me that she flat out didn't like me. An interception would have been if she told me that I was a loser and she hated me.
Altron
Well-Known Member
I'm feeling alright... just kinda at that sucky stage where I will be thinking about something completely unrelated, then it will trigger a memory of something similar with her, then I don't feel too good. Not like "punched in the face" kinda not too good, more of a "stepping outside on a really cold day and getting momentarily shocked by the temperature" not too good.
Like, I get out of my car, and as I'm walking past, I notice the classic vintage look of it. Then I remembered how she used to drive a big Pontiac Bonneville boat that she bought from an Alabama State alumnus, with an Alabama sticker on the windshield, except it started to come off, so it only said "bama", and that's what she referred to the car as. We chatted from time to time about her car and my car. it takes a weird kind of person to feel comfortable driving a boat like that at a young age, and actually liking it. she said my car was awesome. i always hoped that i would be able to drive her somewhere in it.
Then I go inside, and into the kitchen, where I still had some wawa green tea left. That reminded me all about how we both are really big iced tea fans. and how a few times, i went to wawa and got her some tea, and a few times, she went to wawa and got me some tea. another little bond triggered by nothing more than opening the fridge.
and, fuck, i need to stop this right now, because now I'm thinking about the time I met her dad, and how he reminded me of my dad, and how she thought my dad was really cool, and how my dad was a stoner in college and she was too and... I'm bounching back alright, but it's too soon to reminisce about experiences I've shared with her.
Like, I get out of my car, and as I'm walking past, I notice the classic vintage look of it. Then I remembered how she used to drive a big Pontiac Bonneville boat that she bought from an Alabama State alumnus, with an Alabama sticker on the windshield, except it started to come off, so it only said "bama", and that's what she referred to the car as. We chatted from time to time about her car and my car. it takes a weird kind of person to feel comfortable driving a boat like that at a young age, and actually liking it. she said my car was awesome. i always hoped that i would be able to drive her somewhere in it.
Then I go inside, and into the kitchen, where I still had some wawa green tea left. That reminded me all about how we both are really big iced tea fans. and how a few times, i went to wawa and got her some tea, and a few times, she went to wawa and got me some tea. another little bond triggered by nothing more than opening the fridge.
and, fuck, i need to stop this right now, because now I'm thinking about the time I met her dad, and how he reminded me of my dad, and how she thought my dad was really cool, and how my dad was a stoner in college and she was too and... I'm bounching back alright, but it's too soon to reminisce about experiences I've shared with her.
chcr
Too cute for words
Altron
Well-Known Member
it's the last thing on my mind.
although, to my surprise, as i told her I had a crush on her, I totally started to pop a stiffy. Not like a full one, but I had that feeling that lets you know that a certain organ is beginning to full with blood. the conversation wasn't long enough to really get anything, and the feeling went away just as fast. which is weird, because I almost never find myself in that situation at work, even when she is nearby, and even when I scope her out. The last thing I was thinking about was sex. All I could think about was nervousness and disbelief that I had actually asked.
although, to my surprise, as i told her I had a crush on her, I totally started to pop a stiffy. Not like a full one, but I had that feeling that lets you know that a certain organ is beginning to full with blood. the conversation wasn't long enough to really get anything, and the feeling went away just as fast. which is weird, because I almost never find myself in that situation at work, even when she is nearby, and even when I scope her out. The last thing I was thinking about was sex. All I could think about was nervousness and disbelief that I had actually asked.
Altron
Well-Known Member
Then I tried getting somewhat flirty with a girl at my school. Interesting experience. I could totally ask somebody out. I'm not really in any hurry to, but I was comfortable enough doing it. It's so easy when you don't really care what the answer is.
My friends (who are her age and also friends with her) are all like "dude, if you had the balls to do THAT, the next time it will be so much easier"
My friends (who are her age and also friends with her) are all like "dude, if you had the balls to do THAT, the next time it will be so much easier"
chcr
Too cute for words
It's even easy if you do after you've done it a few times.
that's as far as i got so far -
but, (no offence) - but at your age - it kinda says it all - tell's its own story -
- i still remember a girl ('Angel') from when i was 13 or 14 or so - almost as fresh as it if it was yesterday...
Hard has so many meanings and - ahem ... anyway -
so you got two new fellas you gotta name?
How about some suggestions?
- heh, seriously, though - nothing wrong with aiming high in life - and finally you had the balls to become a man (and this is the important part that you'll come to realise, T) - to become a man - in your own eyes - and no one else's.
Course- you only took the first steps - but first steps are important - and like any learning it becomes easier.
the main thing i got from what you posted - if i may?
mmm - well- i guess you just need to ground yourself - to put your own feet and no one else's on this here god's green earth and say,
i am me and here i stand!
If i may - altron, you seem, perhaps too concerned with the world and not just X, or Y or Z ...but F,G,H,J,R,E,S,A, etc as well.
FUCK IT.
Find what you find is true and good- and always be true to that - be strong -
but be true to that - whatever it is.
But if you are not sure - do not search for others to tell you - if it is to mean anything, it must be your own journey.
and it will be long and hard - if it ain't, it is probably meaningless.
But inner steel tempered with understanding and compassion allied with strength and pride will take a man a long way.
best, BB
How about some suggestions?
- heh, seriously, though
- nothing wrong with aiming high in life - and finally you had the balls to become a man (and this is the important part that you'll come to realise, T) - to become a man - in your own eyes - and no one else's.Course- you only took the first steps - but first steps are important - and like any learning it becomes easier.
the main thing i got from what you posted - if i may?
mmm - well- i guess you just need to ground yourself - to put your own feet and no one else's on this here god's green earth and say,
i am me and here i stand!
If i may - altron, you seem, perhaps too concerned with the world and not just X, or Y or Z ...but F,G,H,J,R,E,S,A, etc as well.
FUCK IT.
Find what you find is true and good- and always be true to that - be strong -
but be true to that - whatever it is.
But if you are not sure - do not search for others to tell you - if it is to mean anything, it must be your own journey.
and it will be long and hard - if it ain't, it is probably meaningless.
But inner steel tempered with understanding and compassion allied with strength and pride will take a man a long way.
best, BB
Altron
Well-Known Member
Alright, remember the OTHER 18 year old gal, the one who was really into me and who I totally shot down?
Well, that was on Halloween (I remember, because the last weekend in September, we hit a new low in terms of scheduling. There were only three people available to work that saturday, and she was one of them, but she normally doesn't work weekends. I requested off that night. She was supposed to work 10-8 and I 2-10, the guy who smoked in my car was available but for whatever reason they didn't schedule him, and he refused to switch. I ended up switching so that I was 10-6 and she was 2-10. Then I went to the other gal's 18th birthday party, then the following monday I had off from school so I covered her shift so that she could have a proper two day weekend. Then the girl got kinda flirty with me at the party)
Then, like a week later, she called me to see if I wanted to see a movie, and I was like "sure". So we hung out. Then she hit on me, and I was like "ok" because I was scared. The next weekend, we were both attending a halloween party, and she kinda made some advances on me there, but I didn't really talk to her. Then, a few days later, right before the haunted hayride I went on with the work gal, her best friend, and her best friend's boyfriend, I figured that it could possibly be construed as a double date, and I'm not a cheatin' kind of man, and since I was going on the hayride I thought I had a good shot with 23, so I called up the 18 year old and gave her the same speech that I recieved yesterday.
Then, she called me up like once to hang out a week or two later, and we did. Then, I guess a few weeks later, fall 2006 is an angst ridden blur to me, I called her up to see if she wanted to hang out, and she did.
then, bam, didn't like talk to her at all for awhile.
I called her to let her know when I got into Stevens, and she called me once to chat for a few minutes one day, but that's it.
Then, just now, at like 5:15 (which, I didn't look at my watch, but that's my best estimate as to when yesterday's events took place), she calls me and wants to hang out.
Hmmm, I'm cool with it, I guess. Dunno if I want to pick things up with her again, but hopefully I'll have a good time. Just odd that she happened to call me exactly 24 hours later, to see if I wanted to hang out, a phone call she hasn't made in two months.
Well, that was on Halloween (I remember, because the last weekend in September, we hit a new low in terms of scheduling. There were only three people available to work that saturday, and she was one of them, but she normally doesn't work weekends. I requested off that night. She was supposed to work 10-8 and I 2-10, the guy who smoked in my car was available but for whatever reason they didn't schedule him, and he refused to switch. I ended up switching so that I was 10-6 and she was 2-10. Then I went to the other gal's 18th birthday party, then the following monday I had off from school so I covered her shift so that she could have a proper two day weekend. Then the girl got kinda flirty with me at the party)
Then, like a week later, she called me to see if I wanted to see a movie, and I was like "sure". So we hung out. Then she hit on me, and I was like "ok" because I was scared. The next weekend, we were both attending a halloween party, and she kinda made some advances on me there, but I didn't really talk to her. Then, a few days later, right before the haunted hayride I went on with the work gal, her best friend, and her best friend's boyfriend, I figured that it could possibly be construed as a double date, and I'm not a cheatin' kind of man, and since I was going on the hayride I thought I had a good shot with 23, so I called up the 18 year old and gave her the same speech that I recieved yesterday.
Then, she called me up like once to hang out a week or two later, and we did. Then, I guess a few weeks later, fall 2006 is an angst ridden blur to me, I called her up to see if she wanted to hang out, and she did.
then, bam, didn't like talk to her at all for awhile.
I called her to let her know when I got into Stevens, and she called me once to chat for a few minutes one day, but that's it.
Then, just now, at like 5:15 (which, I didn't look at my watch, but that's my best estimate as to when yesterday's events took place), she calls me and wants to hang out.
Hmmm, I'm cool with it, I guess. Dunno if I want to pick things up with her again, but hopefully I'll have a good time. Just odd that she happened to call me exactly 24 hours later, to see if I wanted to hang out, a phone call she hasn't made in two months.