Helpless women?

G

greenfreak

New Member
Ladies, are you a "helpless woman"? I've disliked that idea for a long time, that I need to be taken care of by a man. What does that term mean to you and what would a "helpless woman" be like?

I have to be able to lift at least 60-70 pounds without strain at work as part of my job. It was a little difficult at first but now I don't have much of a problem with it. (and have some nice biceps to boot :))

But when I'm carrying a box or putting things on a hand truck, invariably, one of my male coworkers asks me if I need help. I don't consider that an insult and I'm not nasty about it, I just say, "No thank you, I've got it." But my male coworker John never gets those offers. I don't project an image that I need help but I think it's ingrained in some people to offer help to a woman. What do you think?
 
The 70's beat that notion outta me. Now, women can damn well help themselves. Espescially on the job. We have several women (girls really) on the deployment teams. And if there's heavy servers or printers to be moved, they're just another body.
 
Hmph! No-one ever asks me if I need help, but then I'd probably glare at them if they did.

I think I scare them off with my tales of rebuilding engines and humping 20 stone patients about. Usually they ask me for help, which of course I'm happy to give. If I need help I ask for it. :)
 
I don't mind at all when a man asks me if I need help. I ask everyone who appears to be handling something difficult if they need help. But if they're asking me cuz I'm a gal... no problem!

I don't play the "hard done by" games so when someone offers a helping hand, I don't read anything more into it other than someone is just being nice.
 
I usually ask people that looks like they have a bit of trouble if they could use some help. Even more so if the person is a girl. :)
 
Greenie the NAG* said:
that I need to be taken care of by a man.
Click to expand...

Why is it, whenever wimins talk about men that is one of the complaints? We aren't taking care of you. We're being supportive husbands, sig others, co-workers, kindly strangers. If a man is taking care of a woman either she is manipulating the situation to make it appear that way, she is truly helpless or the man has a major ego problem & she is going along with it.

Stop victimizing half the population.

*National Association of Gals
 
Hmmm, well I was brought up by a single mother, so excuse me if I'm a little... um... strong willed??


I will always make sure that I'm able to take care of myself (financially, emotionally, and or otherwise) before I have to rely on someone else.

The only time I'll ever have to possibly ask for help, is if it's something I can't physically do myself (like push the car up a hill :eek:

But otherwise, I never ask, or accept help from people :)
 
If the offering of help is honest, why refuse it?

Refusing the help because it is being offered by a man is just as bad as being men dependent.
 
Y'know, Vortex, people like you are my favorite customers. People who are too strong willed to ask for help until it's too late. I usually can turn what would have been a 15 minute service call into an all day rebuild.

Thanks.;)
 
I was raised to be polite. So being somewhat polite i open doors for people all the time, man or women. Once in awhile there'll be that women who looks at me in disgust like i'm some chauvinist pig for opening a door. But i say thank god for the womens lib movement. It opened the door for men to be human and not indestructible. As a matter of fact i'm blubbering like a baby as i write this. You should hear me, it's just pitiful and that's ok.:crying6: :D
 
Luis G said:
If the offering of help is honest, why refuse it?

Refusing the help because it is being offered by a man is just as bad as being men dependent.
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Nonoono, you must've read that wrong, I don't like getting help from anyone, male or female, I guess that's how useless I am *giggle*

But if I need help, I'll accept it, otherwise, not. :D
 
Let's not forget that it also openned the door for abortion, divorce, rampant sexual disease, gov't encouraged 2 income families, subsidised day care, and of course, single parent families.

Thanks to women's lib, women can now enter the YMCA , Boy scouts, taverns, men only clubs (where men were going to get away from women in the first place) and let's not forget, men's sports. Strange how men still aren't allowed into any of the equivalent women's groups.
 
Professur said:
Let's not forget that it also openned the door for abortion, divorce, rampant sexual disease, gov't encouraged 2 income families, subsidised day care, and of course, single parent families.

Thanks to women's lib, women can now enter the YMCA , Boy scouts, taverns, men only clubs (where men were going to get away from women in the first place) and let's not forget, men's sports. Strange how men still aren't allowed into any of the equivalent women's groups.
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Well if you wanted to join the WRVS I'm sure they'd be happy to have you. Can't say I'm all that keen myself... Are you any good at baking and knitting? :)
 
Actually, yes, I am. I even taught my wife to knit and crochet.

Like Vortex, my mother taught us to not be dependant on anyone other than ourselves. But, I understand that dependant doesn't mean you need to do everything yourself. I'm more than capable of rebuilding an engine. But I accept that a mechanic with years of training and all the right tools can do it better, faster, and cheaper than I can. I can fix a busted computer faster, cheaper and better than any of my collegues or clients. Fighting that fact only makes things go slower, harder, and cost more.
 
Professur said:
Actually, yes, I am. I even taught my wife to knit and crochet.

Like Vortex, my mother taught us to not be dependant on anyone other than ourselves. But, I understand that dependant doesn't mean you need to do everything yourself. I'm more than capable of rebuilding an engine. But I accept that a mechanic with years of training and all the right tools can do it better, faster, and cheaper than I can. I can fix a busted computer faster, cheaper and better than any of my collegues or clients. Fighting that fact only makes things go slower, harder, and cost more.
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Now that I've got the money I'm quite happy to pay someone else to do all the things I'm perfectly capable of doing myself but can't be assed. :)

Personally I'm a crap knitter and I hate crochet, but I can cut out and run up a pair of trousers without a pattern in no time. I can also take the machine to bits and fix it if necessary. ;)
 
Gonz said:
Greenie the NAG* said:
that I need to be taken care of by a man.
Click to expand...

Why is it, whenever wimins talk about men that is one of the complaints? We aren't taking care of you. We're being supportive husbands, sig others, co-workers, kindly strangers. If a man is taking care of a woman either she is manipulating the situation to make it appear that way, she is truly helpless or the man has a major ego problem & she is going along with it.

Stop victimizing half the population.

*National Association of Gals
Click to expand...

Nice try. I'm not biting. :) If you see me as a complaining, victimizing, bitter woman, so be it. :p
 
On that note, I'd like to mention that my wife is a stay at home mom. Does that mean I look after her? You've got to be kidding. If anything, she looks after me. Lets look at all that she does. She makes sure I'm up in time for work, that I've breakfast in my belly and that I've clean clothes to wear. And she does the same for our 2 kids. And all before 8 am.


We're a team. And anyone who suggests that she's a lesser partner has no idea what they're talking about.
 
HeXp£Øi± said:
I was raised to be polite. So being somewhat polite i open doors for people all the time, man or women.
Click to expand...

See that's a good point. I know a few women who don't respond to politeness or chivalry and look at it as an insult, always. One of the guys at work offered to help me brush the snow off my car last week and I truly appreciated that. I didn't see it as an insult or anything but I know him well enough to know that he's very polite. A genuinely nice guy.

Then there's the breast-starer (remember I told you about him?). He's the one who continually asks me if I need help but doesn't offer the same to my male coworker. The kicker is, the male coworker is actually less able-bodied than I am. He doesn't lift anything and when he does, he strains himself and doesn't accept *my* help. So the tables are sort of turned in a way. :)
 
To clarify, what I meant by this:

I've disliked that idea for a long time, that I need to be taken care of by a man.
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Is the idea that women are *helpless* without a man. That women *need* a man or else they're lost. That they can't do anything other than 'womanly' things like cooking and cleaning without the opposite sex around to do it for them.

I don't consider opening doors or other chivalrous acts something that men do to exhibit dominance over women. I don't think I can do everything myself, and I do depend on my boyfriend for a lot in my life. He takes care of me and I take care of him-the scales aren't really tipped either way.

Btw Prof, thanks. I've always noted a mutual respect between you and your wife in your posts. It's refreshing to hear. :)
 
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