The Corrupted Wish Game

[BeardofPants]

Granted. Instantly hundreds of cows appear in the IBM building registered to you, and they sue you for the damage they cause.

I wish I had an alarm clock that would actually wake me up...

whoops....

Granted, but it's HAL, and I wouldn't want to be any where near when HE wakes up.

I wish uni was finished.

 

[Raven]

Granted but after completing Uni, you find out you have to back to elementary (or whatever) and start the whole process again.

I wish this headache would go away

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

granted but it takes your head with it

i wish i could find the pants i want to wear today

 

[paul_valaru]

granted but it takes your head with it

i wish i could find the pants i want to wear today

granted, but they are pink hip-huggers a la britney spears

I wish I didn't have to walk in the rain today

 

[Raven]

Granted but instead, rainfall stops EVERYWHERE forever and the earth becomes a parched dustball.

I wish I had a wish

 

[paul_valaru]

Granted but instead, rainfall stops EVERYWHERE forever and the earth becomes a parched dustball.

I wish I had a wish

granted, but you fuck it up, and end being a 12 inch pianist


I wish I had a new computer

 

[Raven]

Granted, but its a mac

I wish teleportation devices were real

 

[paul_valaru]

Granted, but its a mac

I wish teleportation devices were real

I love macs!!!!!

granted, but you would end up at the other end inside out


I wish I could fly!

 

[Raven]

granted but you have the aerodynamics of a brick ostritch

I wish I could spend as much as I like and never have to worry

 

[paul_valaru]

granted but you have the aerodynamics of a brick ostritch

I wish I could spend as much as I like and never have to worry

granted, welcome to terminal illness


I wish I had 999 channels on tv

 

[Raven]

granted but they are all home shopping, womens lifestyle and cookery channels

I wish I had a better cellphone

 

[Kawaii]

(Granted. They're all showing scat gay porn involving midgets 24/7.)
Edit: Oops, new one: Granted. It gives you a fatal brain tumour.

I wish i knew Iaido at 10th Dan level. Without getting killed or hurt in any way.

 

[Kittie]

Granted, and sinse the fairy that granted it had no clue what youw ere talking about, you end up... fuck it. you win.

I wish that fucktards did not come into my store tonight

 

[Kawaii]

Granted. Now there are faptards.

I wish for a perfectly regular, non-dangerous Coke. The kind you drink, not the kind you snort.

 

[Kittie]

Granted, the coke appears in a rubber ball, and un-intentionally rolls off a random 45 foot cliff in your kkitchen, and you lose a limb. Any one of them really. Pick one.

I wish that I could get off work just one day >.<

 

[Kawaii]

Granted. You're fired. Now you have every day off.

I wish i had a perfectly functional, non-harmful, state-of-the art 5.1-compatible sound card right now. 5.1 headphones on a stereo soundcard sucks.

 

[Raven]

Granted however the PCI port you plug it into catches fire as you insert it, setting your clothes on fire too.

I wish I had a faster connection

 

[chcr]

Granted, but now Larry the Cable Guy comes to your house every day and screams, "Get 'er done" at the top of his lungs. All night long.
**********************************************
http://www.larrythecableguy.com/
*Bein' one o' them furriners, he might not know who Larry is.*
**********************************************
I wish I had the time and energy to start a new band.

 

[Kittie]

granted. you call the band, fuck ho bag douce christwagon mother sin... everyone hates you, and they kill you.

I wish that I had a boyfriend... that was PERFECT!

 

[BeardofPants]

Granted, but he murders you in your sleep after your constant babbling drove him insane.

I wish I had pizza. Damn you Stop Laughing! Damn you to hell!