The Corrupted Wish Game

Stop Laughing said:
Granted. Instantly hundreds of cows appear in the IBM building registered to you, and they sue you for the damage they cause.

I wish I had an alarm clock that would actually wake me up...
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whoops....

Granted, but it's HAL, and I wouldn't want to be any where near when HE wakes up.

I wish uni was finished.
 
Granted but after completing Uni, you find out you have to back to elementary (or whatever) and start the whole process again.

I wish this headache would go away
 
ash r said:
granted but it takes your head with it

i wish i could find the pants i want to wear today
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granted, but they are pink hip-huggers a la britney spears

I wish I didn't have to walk in the rain today
 
Granted but instead, rainfall stops EVERYWHERE forever and the earth becomes a parched dustball.

I wish I had a wish
 
Raven said:
Granted but instead, rainfall stops EVERYWHERE forever and the earth becomes a parched dustball.

I wish I had a wish
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granted, but you fuck it up, and end being a 12 inch pianist


I wish I had a new computer
 
granted but you have the aerodynamics of a brick ostritch

I wish I could spend as much as I like and never have to worry
 
Raven said:
granted but you have the aerodynamics of a brick ostritch

I wish I could spend as much as I like and never have to worry
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granted, welcome to terminal illness


I wish I had 999 channels on tv
 
granted but they are all home shopping, womens lifestyle and cookery channels

I wish I had a better cellphone
 
(Granted. They're all showing scat gay porn involving midgets 24/7.)
Edit: Oops, new one: Granted. It gives you a fatal brain tumour.

I wish i knew Iaido at 10th Dan level. Without getting killed or hurt in any way.
 
Granted, and sinse the fairy that granted it had no clue what youw ere talking about, you end up... fuck it. you win.

I wish that fucktards did not come into my store tonight
 
Granted. Now there are faptards. :faptard:

I wish for a perfectly regular, non-dangerous Coke. The kind you drink, not the kind you snort.
 
Granted, the coke appears in a rubber ball, and un-intentionally rolls off a random 45 foot cliff in your kkitchen, and you lose a limb. Any one of them really. Pick one.

I wish that I could get off work just one day >.<
 
Granted. You're fired. Now you have every day off.

I wish i had a perfectly functional, non-harmful, state-of-the art 5.1-compatible sound card right now. 5.1 headphones on a stereo soundcard sucks.
 
Granted however the PCI port you plug it into catches fire as you insert it, setting your clothes on fire too.

I wish I had a faster connection
 
Granted, but now Larry the Cable Guy comes to your house every day and screams, "Get 'er done" at the top of his lungs. All night long.
**********************************************
http://www.larrythecableguy.com/
*Bein' one o' them furriners, he might not know who Larry is.*
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I wish I had the time and energy to start a new band.
 
granted. you call the band, fuck ho bag douce christwagon mother sin... everyone hates you, and they kill you.

I wish that I had a boyfriend... that was PERFECT!
 
Granted, but he murders you in your sleep after your constant babbling drove him insane.

I wish I had pizza. Damn you Stop Laughing! Damn you to hell!
 
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