When will Altron pop the question

[Altron]

hmmm, I get the idea that if I walked up to her and said "want to fuck?" she would be a little bit, I dunno, maybe offended?

 

[Professur]

Then don't say that.

 

[markjs]

OK, here's a quick, off the top of my head, and completely hypothetical, first draft of "the letter". Just to give an example of how I would do it if I was gonna. It's not even my best work by any means because whenever I wrote the letter, part of the key to it's success is that I was always sincere, and very much falling in love with each of the young ladies I used it on. I am and never have been the "player" type, just a serial monogomist. When I was Altron's age I was shy just like him. That is why I think this might be a good way for him to do it. It does take some amount of courage though, because to be done properly you have to give it to her and let her read it while you wait for her do so. The suspense is agony, and, for me at least, it was especially bad because I always got rejected for at least a day or two before the magic worked. In altron's case, I am pretty sure she already is interested.

So anyway, remember that this is hypothetical and a work of fiction! I only aimed it tonksy because I felt a bit of a challenge when she said:

I, personally, would feel gipped if asked out via a text message and most letters.

Anyway, please don't kill me unclehobart!

Dear tonksy,

I write this letter, because I have so many things to say and I just can't seem to find a way to express myself in conversation. In the short time I've known you I've developed quite a fancy for you. You are so intelligent and insightful, and so real. That's a quality I find to be rare in the women I know. I also want you to know I think you are absolutely gorgeous. I won't lie, it's not that cookie cutter, supermodel, typical pretty, it's so much more than that! You are so unique looking (in a good way of course), and the combination of that, and just the way you carry yourself, and who you are on the inside, makes you one of the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on. Your eyes are so intense and your gaze so captivating, and sometimes I feel like I can see right into your soul through them, and I love what I see there.

But that's only the surface, and you are so much more than that. Ultimately our friendship means a lot to me, and above and beyond anything else I don't want to lose it. Still I cannot help the way I feel about you, and this is why I write this letter. I'd be just about the happiest man on earth, if the feling was mutual. I don't know if you feel this way about me in return, but if you don't, I know it's going to hurt. I may need some time to get over it, I am only human after all, but I would still want you as my friend no matter what. I am strong, and I can survive it, but I don't want to! I can't think of anything else, you are the total package, kind, passionate, intelligent, yet still mysterious, and incredibly sexy!! And I really want to be with you. So please, be gentle, but don't spare me the truth about how you really feel. You are one hell of a special lady, and you deserve all the best things in life, I probably don't deserve a woman such as you, but I am a pretty good guy, and I do my best, and I pray that that could be enough to win your heart... You really inspire me to want to be a better man, and that's truly special to me. Any man would be very lucky to be with a woman like you.

Sincerely (or at least it would be if it wasn't all hypothetical)
markjs

*hides from unclehobart and tonksy both*

 

[chcr]

Altron, Altron, Altron. Do not use "the letter." Don't text her, don't e-mail her, don't do anything but look at her and ask if she'd like to go out with you. Yeah, she might say no. At what point do you think that would really do you any lasting harm? It's part of the difference of being a self-respecting man and not. There are plenty of other ways to get laid, no mistake. If that's all your really interested in, you can buy that. I suspect not though.

Just one man's opinion.

 

[Altron]

Well, I did it. We're going somewhere tonight "as friends"

 

[Professur]

Dumbass.

 

[markjs]

Well, I did it. We're going somewhere tonight "as friends"

Does this mean you "asked her out", or in some other way, indicated your interest in her is that you wish to be "more than friends", but you were rejected?

 

[Altron]

Does this mean you "asked her out", or in some other way, indicated your interest in her is that you wish to be "more than friends", but you were rejected?

yep.

I'm a little sad, but at least I'm not anxious about it anymore.

 

[Luis G]

What did you say to her? what did she say back?

If you don't want to share the details, we'll understand.

 

[Altron]

and, I wasn't outright rejected. im thinking/hoping that she just wants to go a little slower, being that we've only known each other for not even two weeks.

so, now i've got the offer on the table, there's nothing i have to worry about. i'm going to be a lot less stressed-out, which makes me a lot more fun to be around. with the past two girls I really liked, I didn't actually become good friends with them until after making a move and getting shot down. i'm a little awkward and clingy when i like a girl and she doesn't know, but once she does know, i'm much more relaxed. they only put up with me out of kindness, but actually became pretty close to me after i made my feelings known.

 

[tonksy]

I, personally, would feel gipped if asked out via a text message and most letters.

.

 

[markjs]

I, personally, would feel gipped if asked out via a text message and most letters.

I can live with that, so long as unclehobart doesn't beat me up!



Actually though it was kind of fun to revisit that concept after so many years....

 

[Altron]

On the plus side, I've been over the girl at work for almost two weeks.

 

[OldHippie]

Aw Hell altron, just do it.

 

[Nixy]

And this is why, Altron, you really should not be listening to advise on wimmen from Nixy.

Why?

I was thinking about it in a more general sense than just "fucking"...more so in the "If you don't try you will never succeed" and "When you do succeed all of the failures won't matter anymore". In Altron's case it would refer to asking girls out rather than asking girls to fuck.

 

[markjs]

So does that mean you don't have any balls either?

No man, what that means, is from age 14 to about age 20, every girl and woman I pursued, I got. A 100% success rate. For that matter, after I gained the confidence to just say it, I still often wrote a letter, and used it after I asked a woman out, and it still has never failed me. I call it style, and a unique approach. And further, I know some of my old girlfriends and they've saved thos letters and a couple have called them "a cherished memory". I was gettin some when guys around me were getting shot down entirely, and some of the bigger jackasses were getting slapped, and I assure you I was laughing at them as I tucked in and went to sleep next to my sweetie of the time, after a long night of youthful passion . You can't mess with success....

Ah sweet memories....

 

[markjs]

Here's another one that works well, once you're with a girl. Write her a short love note, and get a rose or a carnation or somesuch and put it under her wiper blades like a ticket. You can be sure when you see her next, you will be in like flynn!

A note in a coat pocket will work too....But stay the hell out of her purse unless she asks you to go into it!

It's the little shit that means so much....I think sometimes those little tecniques are the only reason Jody has put up with me all these years.

 

[tonksy]

He's absolutely right.

 

[Nixy]

awwww I am so a hopeless romantic...I want a man to do little sweet things for me Hell, at this point I'd settle for a man who is genuinely interested and shows it

 

[Luis G]

It's the little shit that means so much....I think sometimes those little tecniques are the only reason Jody has put up with me all these years.

It has to be genuine, otherwise anyone who does it is a real asshole.