Bitch about work thread.

Luis G said:
Go out with 18 but do everything as if you were friends. Watch her take steps to change that. Then spent the night wondering why a woman you have no interest in wants you while the girl you want doesn't. ;)
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Simple... if someone was chasing me I'd run in the opposite direction... and we always want what we can't have...
 
I think 23 likes me.

Continue to say "She doesn't have any intrest in you" all you want, and I'll continue to ignore it.
 
IMHO I think she likes you as a friend but she probably thinks you're too young for her and she doesn't want to spoil your friendship by saying so. Five years when you're in your 30s or older is negligable, but there's a world of difference between 18 and 23.
 
T, Since you have already agreed to go out with 18, do it - once. If it's a drag don't do it again :shrug:
You might be pleasantly surprised or at worst you've spent an evening with a friend.
 
But what if she doesn't think I'm too young?

Even if I don't have a shot with 23, do I want to go out with 18?

I'm very iffy on that question.

Obviously, telling 18 that I'm not interested then going after 23 is something of a gamble.
The safe and smart thing would be to go out with 18.

But, damnit, I'm 17. I've got plenty of time to pick up chicks before I get old. If I hurt 18's feelings, and make 23 hate me, so what? At least it will be exciting.

That's the thing - 18 is boring and plain. She could have asked me out any time in the past 6 years, and I most likeily would have said yes. Instead, she fucks around with a bunch of weird guys.

I've got a huge crush on 23. Sorry, 18, you had the chance, you just didn't take it.

How do you think I should word it? Something like that I really like her, I just don't really want to do the whole dating thing, let's just hang out and be casual friends.
 
tonksy said:
T, Since you have already agreed to go out with 18, do it - once. If it's a drag don't do it again :shrug:
You might be pleasantly surprised or at worst you've spent an evening with a friend.
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I've done the dinner and a movie thing with her plenty of times. It was a date in everything but name.

I dunno, it's just not all that amazing or fun. I have more fun chatting with 23 while at work.

And, if I'm already pretty sure I don't want to date her, why do it? It will just make ending it a bit harder.
 
Altron said:
But what if she doesn't think I'm too young?

Even if I don't have a shot with 23, do I want to go out with 18?

I'm very iffy on that question.

Obviously, telling 18 that I'm not interested then going after 23 is something of a gamble.
The safe and smart thing would be to go out with 18.

But, damnit, I'm 17. I've got plenty of time to pick up chicks before I get old. If I hurt 18's feelings, and make 23 hate me, so what? At least it will be exciting.

That's the thing - 18 is boring and plain. She could have asked me out any time in the past 6 years, and I most likeily would have said yes. Instead, she fucks around with a bunch of weird guys.

I've got a huge crush on 23. Sorry, 18, you had the chance, you just didn't take it.

How do you think I should word it? Something like that I really like her, I just don't really want to do the whole dating thing, let's just hang out and be casual friends.
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Gawd, I hope I wasn't that dumb at your age. Probably was, tho.


You think that at 18, she's got it all figured out? Not hardly. She's probably even more confused about it than you are.

I met the missus when I was 7. First dated at 13. Broke up, dated again at 16. broke up, dated again at 20. To her, you're probably the only guy she knows who doesn't hit on her, or stare at her tits when you talk to her. She's probably been trying to pick you up for the last 4 years, but didn't want to ruin the friendship doing so.
 
Altron said:
And, if I'm already pretty sure I don't want to date her, why do it? It will just make ending it a bit harder.
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Because you've already said you would. Just go and enjoy yourself. If she tries to make a move just act all dumb like you didn't know it was like that and that you just want to be friends. Maybe having a casual dinner date will be enough to make 23 shit or get off the pot.
 
But I haven't been trying to get picked up, and I didn't want to get picked up.

I'm just sitting here with a sinking feeling in my stomach, somewhat depressed. I am going out with 18, and I have a crush on 23. I was a helluva lot happier being friends with 18 and having a crush on 23.

Tonks, the phrasing of the conversation was "let's be boyfriend/girlfriend" and not "let's see a movie". I can't exactly play dumb, and I never said that I would take her out.

Oh, and 23 has no idea that 18 exists. 18 has no idea that 23 exists.

I don't want to hurt 18's feelings. I was a complete pussy when I said 'yes'. I should have told her then and there about 23. I think she would have understood. Instead, I decided to cop out. I want to correct that as quickly as possible, before the situation gets any worse.
 
I just keep thinking that if I do this, dating 18 against my will while wanting to date 23, I'm going to be miserable. I really like 23, and I can't just stop liking her, even if I wanted to. I can stop dating 18, and the sooner I do, the easier it will be. She's a nice girl, and she's friends with plenty of guys. I'm not the only one that treats her like a person. I might be the one out of the bunch that she likes the most, but there are others who would go out with her, and they would do it right, not the half-assed thing that I would end up doing. How would I be able to date someone properly if I would much rather be dating someone else?
 
So why not be honest with her and tell her that you see her as a good friend not a date, and that you don't want to hurt her but at 17 you're interested in dating as many girls as possible and not ready to settle down.
 
just get your end away and stop thinking about everything so much ...see this 18 as ' healthy exercise & practice' if you will, for the chance, if it ever happens with 23!

and no way dump her (18) by saying you fancy 23! That'd be suicide.

anyway, if you get it on with 18 you'll soon see if there is any interest from 23 or not without any complex mind games.
 
Aunty Em said:
So why not be honest with her and tell her that you see her as a good friend not a date, and that you don't want to hurt her but at 17 you're interested in dating as many girls as possible and not ready to settle down.
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That's what I'll do, without the 'dating as many girls as possible' part.

And about the whole 'practice run' thing - no. First of all, I can probably tell her within a few days that I'm not really too keen on the whole dating thing, I just want to be friends. That probably wouldn't be an issue, we would be back to where we were a few days ago.

If, however, I actively date her, and all that stuff, it's going to be a lot more difficult to go back.

I may not really be too interested in dating, but I do still want to be friends with her. I think I can do that, if I do it before we 'date'. I think that if we go out on a few dates, and she screams the plaster off my ceiling and whatnot, it's not gonna be able to go back to just being friends.

And, of course, I would hate myself if I dated 18, knowing full well that I only considered it a temporary practice run, while actively pursuing 23. I feel horrible about myself already, because I told 18 that I would go out with her, but I have a crush on 23.

I would just feel really dishonest dating 18, since she's not the girl I want to be dating. I don't want her thinking that we're dating, and me thinking that I'm killing some time until I can ask out 23.

I just have a really hard time decieving people. I got iffy about going over to 18's house, even though I thought that she had no intrest in me whatsoever, and even though she already had a boyfriend, and even though I had no intrest in her whatsoever, because I felt like I was being dishonest with 23.

If I start off lying to her, it's only gonna get worse and worse, until it completely falls apart. I'd rather tell her a few days after deciding to go out, but before the first date, that I'm not too keen on the whole dating thing, and she might have a small letdown. If I date her for three months, then I hit it off with 23 and I dump 18 the next day, that's going to be a major letdown for her. And if I hit it off with 23, then tell her that I don't want to because I'm already dating 18, that will be a major letdown for me.

Even taking 23 out of the equation, I don't really want to go out with 18. I don't want to start a relationship pretending that I do, because I'm eventually going to slip, or she's going to realize that I don't, and every day that goes by makes that eventual breakup tougher.

And really, what's it to her that I'm her friend and not her boyfriend? I'm still going to hang out with her. I'm still going to like her. I'm just going to skip on the whole holding hands and kissing stuff.

Right now, I feel like I'm being dishonest with both of them, and it's killing me inside. I'm sleeping rather poorly, I'm completely zoned out when I'm awake, I can't really focus on anything, I have a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach, I feel like a complete whore. I'm stumbling through my day in a complete daze, because there are two very nice girls who like me, and I'm being a complete asshole, because I don't have the balls to tell them how I feel.
 
Right now, I feel like I'm being dishonest with both of them, and it's killing me inside. I'm sleeping rather poorly, I'm completely zoned out when I'm awake, I can't really focus on anything, I have a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach, I feel like a complete whore. I'm stumbling through my day in a complete daze, because there are two very nice girls who like me, and I'm being a complete asshole, because I don't have the balls to tell them how I feel.
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Ding, ding, ding, ding... we have a winner!!!

Cam, sounds like they went through high school together. So did lots of friends.
 
We went through middle school together. She went to a different high school, with a fair amount of my friends. I wold still hang out with her and a few of those friends on the weekends.
 
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