Hall of Shame

Worst record?

  • Houston Texans

    Votes: 3 18.8%
  • Oakland Raiders

    Votes: 5 31.3%
  • Tennessee Titans

    Votes: 3 18.8%
  • Green Bay Packers

    Votes: 1 6.3%
  • Cleveland Browns

    Votes: 4 25.0%

  • Total voters
    16
The Jets improved to 8-6 with a third straight road win in Minnesota.

yeabut...

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Tarvaris Jackson.
 
Columbus, OH 11/21/06 (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a
Columbus courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling
over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being
beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his
paternal aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring
that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and conferring with child
welfare officials, the judge granted the boy’s request for temporary custody
to the University of Michigan, whom the seven year old boy firmly believes
are not capable of beating anyone from Columbus, Ohio
Dunno if this is funny or not.
 
Sort of. But then, anything about american sports makes me laugh. specially their ticket prices and 'athletes' paycheques.
 
I'd heard that joke before... except the kid says he wants to live with the Oakland Raiders because they don't beat anybody.
 
I'd heard that joke before... except the kid says he wants to live with the Oakland Raiders because they don't beat anybody.

I heard it as a baby lion and the lion judge asked what lions the baby wanted to live with and of course he said the Detriot Lions.
 
Raiders and Lions with two wins each and the bucs with three wins bringing up the wildcard slot for suckass of the year.
 
When the NFL realigned into eight four-team divisions to accommodate the arrival of the Houston Texans in 2002, the league adopted new tiebreaking rules.

Common opponents is the third tiebreaker within a division after head-to-head games and division record because each of the four teams will have 14 common games in the 16-game schedule. The owners also moved the strength-of-victory tiebreaker ahead of the strength-of-schedule tiebreaker.

The six postseason participants from each conference are be seeded as follows:
1. The division champion with the best record.
2. The division champion with the second-best record.
3. The division champion with the third-best record.
4. The division champion with the fourth-best record.
5. The Wild Card club with the best record.
6. The Wild Card club with the second-best record.


The following procedures will be used to break standings ties for postseason playoffs and to determine regular-season schedules.
NOTE: Tie games count as one-half win and one-half loss for both clubs.


TO BREAK A TIE WITHIN A DIVISION
If, at the end of the regular season, two or more clubs in the same division finish with identical won-lost-tied percentages, the following steps will be taken until a champion is determined.


Two Clubs:
1. Head-to-head (best won-lost-tied percentage in games between the clubs).
2. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the division.
3. Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games.
4. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the conference.
5. Strength of victory.
6. Strength of schedule.
7. Best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.
8. Best combined ranking among all teams in points scored and points allowed.
9. Best net points in common games.
10. Best net points in all games.
11. Best net touchdowns in all games.


Three or More Clubs
NOTE: If two clubs remain tied after third or other clubs are eliminated during any step, tie breaker reverts to step 1 of the two-club format.

1. Head-to-head (best won-lost-tied percentage in games among the clubs).
2. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the division.
3. Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games.
4. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the conference.
5. Strength of victory.
6. Strength of schedule.
7. Best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.
8. Best combined ranking among all teams in points scored and points allowed.
9. Best net points in common games.
10. Best net points in all games.
11. Best net touchdowns in all games.


TO BREAK A TIE FOR THE WILD-CARD TEAM
If it is necessary to break ties to determine the two Wild-Card clubs from each conference, the following steps will be taken.

1. If the tied clubs are from the same division, apply division tie breaker.
2. If the tied clubs are from different divisions, apply the following steps.


Two Clubs:
1. Head-to-head, if applicable.
2. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the conference.
3. Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games, minimum of four.
4. Strength of victory.
5. Strength of schedule.
6. Best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.
7. Best combined ranking among all teams in points scored and points allowed.
8. Best net points in conference games.
9. Best net points in all games.
10. Best net touchdowns in all games.
11. Coin toss.


Three or More Clubs
NOTE: If two clubs remain tied after third or other clubs are eliminated, tie breaker reverts to step 1 of applicable two-club format.

1. Apply division tie breaker to eliminate all but the highest ranked club in each division prior to proceeding to step 2. The original seeding within a division upon application of the division tie breaker remains the same for all subsequent applications of the procedure that are necessary to identify the two Wild-Card participants.
2. Head-to-head sweep. (Applicable only if one club has defeated each of the others or if one club has lost to each of the others.)
3. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the conference.
4. Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games, minimum of four.
5. Strength of victory.
6. Strength of schedule.
7. Best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.
8. Best combined ranking among all teams in points scored and points allowed.
9. Best net points in conference games.
10. Best net points in all games.
11. Best net touchdowns in all games.
12. Coin toss.


When the first Wild-Card team has been identified, the procedure is repeated to name the second Wild-Card, i.e., eliminate all but the highest-ranked club in each division prior to proceeding to step 2. In situations where three or more teams from the same division are involved in the procedure, the original seeding of the teams remains the same for subsequent applications of the tie breaker if the top-ranked team in that division qualifies for a Wild-Card berth.


OTHER TIE-BREAKING PROCEDURES
1. Only one club advances to the playoffs in any tie-breaking step. Remaining tied clubs revert to the first step of the applicable division or Wild-Card tie breakers. As an example, if two clubs remain tied in any tie-breaker step after all other clubs have been eliminated, the procedure reverts to step one of the two-club format to determine the winner. When one club wins the tie breaker, all other clubs revert to step 1 of the applicable two-club or three-club format.
2. In comparing division and conference records or records against common opponents among tied teams, the best won-lost-tied percentage is the deciding factor since teams may have played an unequal number of games.
3. To determine home-field priority among division titlists, apply Wild-Card tie breakers.
4. To determine home-field priority for Wild-Card qualifiers, apply division tie breakers (if teams are from the same division) or Wild-Card tie breakers (if teams are from different ivisions).


TIE-BREAKING PROCEDURE FOR SELECTION MEETING
If two or more clubs are tied in the selection order, the strength-of-schedule tie breaker is applied, subject to the following exceptions for playoff clubs:


1. The Super Bowl winner is last and the Super Bowl loser next-to-last.
2. Any non-Super Bowl playoff club involved in a tie shall be assigned priority within its segment below that of non-playoff clubs and in the order that the playoff clubs exited from the playoffs. Thus, within a tied segment a playoff club that loses in the Wild-Card game will have priority over a playoff club that loses in the Divisional playoff game, which in turn will have priority over a club that loses in the Conference Championship game. If two tied clubs exited the playoffs in the same round, the tie is broken by strength of schedule.


If any ties cannot be broken by strength of schedule, the divisional or conference tie breakers, whichever are applicable, are applied. Any ties that still exist are broken by a coin flip.

EVERYONE GOT THAT?!
 
Hey, I know what has to happen for the Titans to get in. The Jets aready are in. The heck with the rest of that stuff.
 
They aint in yet, sunshine. You still need your voodoo dolls for one last game.

New York Jets clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win or tie
Bengals loss or tie, Jaguars loss
Bengals loss or tie, Titans win
Broncos loss, Jaguars loss
 
In fact, here is the whole magilla lifted shamelessly from Foxsports:

Here are the playoff clinching scenarios for Week 17:



AFC EAST
New England Patriots have clinched the division title.

New York Jets clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win or tie
Bengals loss or tie, Jaguars loss
Bengals loss or tie, Titans win
Broncos loss, Jaguars loss

AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens have clinched the division title.

Baltimore Ravens can clinch a first-round playoff bye with ...

Win or tie
Colts loss or tie
Baltimore Ravens can clinche home-field advantage in the AFC playoffs with ...

Win, Chargers loss
Cincinnati Bengals can clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win, Jets loss
Win, Broncos loss, Chiefs win

AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts have clinched the division title.

Indianapolis Colts can clinch a first-round playoff bye with ...

Win and Ravens loss
Tennessee Titans can clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win, Bengals loss or tie, Broncos loss, Chiefs win
Jacksonville Jaguars can clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win, Jets loss, Bengals loss or tie, Titans loss or tie

AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers have clinched the division title and a first-round playoff bye.

San Diego Chargers can clinch home-field advantage in the AFC playoffs with ...

Win or tie
Ravens loss or tie
Denver Broncos can clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win or tie
Chiefs loss or tie
Kansas City Chiefs can clinch a playoff berth with ...

Win, Bengals loss or tie, Broncos loss, Titans loss or tie
The Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, Houston Texans, Miami Dolphins, Oakland Raiders and Pittsburgh Steelers have been eliminated from playoff contention.


NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys have clinched a playoff berth.

Dallas Cowboys can clinch division with ...

Win, Eagles loss or tie
Tie, Eagles loss
Philadelphia Eagles have clinched a playoff berth.

Philadelphia Eagles can clinch division with ...

Win
Cowboys loss
Tie, Cowboys tie
New York Giants can clinch playoff berth with ...

Win, and clinching strength of victory tiebreaker over Packers (Giants can clinch strength of victory tiebreaker over Packers if: Lions lose, Vikings lose, or any two of the following results occur ... Cardinals lose, Dolphins lose, 49ers lose, Panthers win, Texans win, Buccaneers win. If Giants and Packers end up tied in strength of victory, then tie will be decided by best strength of schedule.)
Win, Packers loss or tie

NFC NORTH
Chicago Bears have clinched home-field advantage in the NFC playoffs.

Green Bay Packers can clinch playoff berth with ...

Win, Giants win, and clinching strength of victory tiebreaker over Giants (Packers clinch strength of victory tiebreaker over Giants if all of the following occur: Cardinals win, Lions win, Dolphins win, Vikings win, 49ers win, Panthers lose, Texans lose, Buccaneers lose. If Packers and Giants end up tied in strength of victory, then tie will be decided by best strength of schedule.)

NFC SOUTH
New Orleans Saints have clinched the division title and a first-round playoff bye.


NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks have clinched the division title.

The Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, Detroit Lions, Minnesota Vikings, San Francisco 49ers, St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Washington Redskins have been eliminated from playoff contention.
 
I'm assuming the Titans will win. The Pat's aren't going to play the A guys much.
 
The Titans do seem to have that little gleam in their eye... but I never discount the Patriots for being spoiler dickheads.
 
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