House and Car Rules

That's really funny GF. :lol:

Car Rules:

-NO smoking
-NO touching the radio
-Belt up or get out.
-No one drives my car but me.
-DON'T tell me how to drive, I've been driving for 27 years and if I'm still in one piece I must be doing something right.
-When you leave take your rubbish with you and don't leave sticky fingermarks on the dash.

House Rules:

-NO Smoking - unless it's pissing down outside, you ask me first and you sit in the kitchen with all the windows open and the connecting door shut.
-No drugs - except on prescription.
-Don't touch my computers.
-Be nice to my cat - or he has my permission to rip your balls off.
-Offer to washup if you're staying for dinner.
-The first cuppa is on me, after that you make your own...
-If you want to argue don't do it in my house...
-Playing loud music after I've gone to bed is guarenteed to get you ejected.
 
I just found out that any kind of smoke will damage the Orchid farm I have growing in my kitchen so the new rule is no smoking in the house at all. :)
 
Are we still on the same subject? I have a new car rule, inspired by my husband ... if you must buy fastfood and eat it in the car, throw away your goddamn trash afterwards!
 
kuulani said:
Are we still on the same subject? I have a new car rule, inspired by my husband ... if you must buy fastfood and eat it in the car, throw away your goddamn trash afterwards!
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:D


inspired by my children: take your crap out of the car when we reach home ... no exceptions ... I'm so tired of wet towels and fins and bodyboards and books and scrunchies ... :grumpy:
 
kuulani said:
Are we still on the same subject? I have a new car rule, inspired by my husband ... if you must buy fastfood and eat it in the car, throw away your goddamn trash afterwards!
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I've been trying to get Brandi to do that for a long time. She has a maddening habit of going to the drive-thru at McDonald's or wherever, and then leaving the food trash in the car. I'm not happy about having to pull the carpet out of the car, use my parents' carpet cleaner on it to remove the dirt and mold, letting it dry out and then spraying febreze on it to get rid of the smell because the trash keeps getting left in there and the carpet gets wet and never dries out underneath.
 
Nixy said:
nalani said:
oh yeah - and at home, NO LABELS! We get enough of that bullshit at work ...
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:laugh5: She's still at the labeling?
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she's still at it :rolleyes: i still think the best one is the label on the toilet, advising the preschool boys to lift the seat up :rolleyes:
 
This might be a good time for a refresher.

Car:

No Smoking
you WILL wear a seatbelt.

Anything else is negotiable, but I have final veto power.


House:

No smoking inside. Outside ashtrays will be provided.
NO DRUGS.
No bloodshed.
And, still most important, don't be an ass. That's reserved for the owner.


I don't think that's too restrctive, do y'all?
 
Truck:

It's mine. It's probably dirty. Deal with it. It's a 4X4, and this ain't downtown. Mud never killed anyone.

It's mine. That includes the radio. I have the only decent stations available preset. Don't try me. If I choose to listen to Pantera, we listen to Pantera; if I choose Ralph Stanley, we hoe down with Ralph. Deal with it.

Seat belts are optional. As is smoking. I smoke, so if you sit down in this truck, leave your bitching and moaning where it belongs...somewhere else.

Yes, those are Confederate battle flag stickers and front license plates on MY truck. If it offends you, walk.



House:

Don't steal anything.

That wall full of CDs...those are mine. All of them. They are alphabetized, and with a single glance from across the room, I know if one is even out of place. If you value your fingers, touch them not. The same rule applies to that stereo you see on the north wall. I have injured close friends for fucking with my stereo; I will do it again.

Those crates full of LPs...the ones carefully placed so the sunlight never reaches them...those are mine too. They mean more to me than you do. Proceed accordingly.

Smoking is allowed of course. See truck rule.

No drugs without a prescription, period, end of story. I am a parole officer; I know cops. I will call them on you. And I will laugh at you when they arrest you.

Bring your own booze, or at the very least keep your hands off the last beer in the fridge. It's mine.

Do not touch my grill either. I am the grill meister. Nothing has ever been cooked on that grill without my personal attention, which is as God intended it to remain.

One last thing. That little sign hanging on the garage door? The one that says "Confederate Parking Only. All others go back north"...I meant that too. My house, my yard, my rules. I ain't got time for Bahstahn accents when I'm at home. Take that crap somewhere else. I never guaranteed a discrimination-free zone.

Thank you and enjoy your stay.
 
Car:
No smoking, no eating, no drinking.
Wear the seatbelt.
Do not open windows while the AC is on.
 
HomeLAN said:
This might be a good time for a refresher.

Car:

No Smoking
you WILL wear a seatbelt.

Anything else is negotiable, but I have final veto power.


House:

No smoking inside. Outside ashtrays will be provided.
NO DRUGS.
No bloodshed.
And, still most important, don't be an ass. That's reserved for the owner.


I don't think that's too restrctive, do y'all?
Click to expand...

You forgot the one about not peeing in the pool (I hear Tonksy's gonna be drinking beer). :lol2:
 
Car: You wear a seatbelt or find another mode of transport. There's a bus-stop 100 feet away...enjoy your ride. I am NOT about to pay a ticket for your stupidity. Eating and drinking in my car is OK...I have a 3 year old...the car's about as dirty as its bound to get...try to remember where you dropped that french fry...I DO expect you to get it out of my car before it turns green, becomes self-aware and crawls out on its own. I smoke...but nobody smokes in my car..or my house...including me! I'll stop the car if its urgent, get out and smoke. The radio is mine...only MrsBish dares change the channel. Only I drive my car...I don't lend it out. I don't take commentary...either learn to live with how i drive or buy your own damn wheels. :D


House: No smoking, no drugs and although I do have alcohol in my home, and i am a generous guy with ym booze, I am NOT...I repeat NOT here to help pay for your hangover. Drink in moderation...if you do drink, I own several couches and a spare bedroom...do not drink and drive. I mean it!
Don't fuck with the cats, don't hit the aquarium. Don't come over and expect to be entertained or served. You know where the fridge is...don't wait for me to pour you a glass of Coke. The TV is off 95% of the time...don't turn it on. If you don't want to miss your favorite show while you're here...go home. Entertainment is conversation and the occasional card game. If you want something more brain-numbing (like TV), my son has playdo in his room...go make a snake or something.
 
You forgot the one about not peeing in the pool (I hear Tonksy's gonna be drinking beer).
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That, while not desirable, is also unenforceable and fixable with about $3 worth of shock.

Now, dropping #2 in the pool will get you not only evicted from the pool, but from the house, grounds, and preferably state.
 
Car and house .. no smoking except the basement... but the back deck would be 10X preferrable to the basement... just don't toss yer butts on the lawn.

Keep car wheels off the lawn

Don't break my stuff

clothing optional
 
hehe

some of this is great, im wondering if clothes is optional in uncs truck though?

Car:
I'm a very easygoing guy I try not to be in it as much as possible so i dont have much in it except for the radio. It is mine and ill ask if you like certain music and ill oblige you accordingly. I chew in it but youd never see anything to illude to it. No smoking in it though.
House:
Respect it as if it were your own. NO SMOKING allowed. same with the outside except
for the smoking.
 
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