Sits back, lights a cigar.

[Inkara1]

Unc... hit up the building materials section of your friendly local Home Depot and get some Henry 208R roof patch. You can put it on even when it's raining.

Side note: turns out I got an A in both my classes this semester. I'd expected a B in one of them, so it was a pleasant surprise.

 

[Inkara1]

Another side note: I'm really trying to shake these "waiting for the other shoe to drop" issues. I really like Annie (the one I compared trunk contents with outside Denny's in King City), and everything she says and does seems to indicate she likes me... but I've always had issues with thinking a gut-wrenching e-mail might pop up in my inbox any second. This has been an ongoing problem with every girl I've liked ever since Stephanie.

 

[Sharky]

Another side note: I'm really trying to shake these "waiting for the other shoe to drop" issues. I really like Annie (the one I compared trunk contents with outside Denny's in King City), and everything she says and does seems to indicate she likes me... but I've always had issues with thinking a gut-wrenching e-mail might pop up in my inbox any second. This has been an ongoing problem with every girl I've liked ever since Stephanie.

Do you have those feelings even after the relationship has a solid foundation (commitment, trust, familiarity, etc.) or only at the beginning?

Sounds familiar . . . I feel nervous too, until the foundation is established. After that, confidence erases any apprehension.

 

[Inkara1]

Those are usually at the beginning. Once we've been together a while, I'll probably start fearing she'll drain all my finances, want to see other people, get really mad when I find someone else even though it's OK for her to fuck the rest of the town (OK, only about 9 or 10 guys), not do a single thing around the house even when I'm working two jobs, want out of the marriage the very same day we get turned down for a trailer, and then get pissed at me when I won't loan her $100 and tell me she hopes I get AIDS or Herpes. I've only had one relationship last longer than three months, so I have nothing else to compare long-term ones to, I guess.

 

[Sharky]

Finding the right one will get you past all of that. Don't be discouraged - she's out there, you'll see. It'll sneak up on ya, usually when you aren't looking . . . and you'll forget all about those bad experiences you had in the past.

The trust should come naturally. But if you are focused on your scars, you might not see it.

 

[Inkara1]

I'm just mad about not being able to shake this feeling because Annie doesn't seem like the kind of person who would do something bad like that. Some of what she's been through would make me feel very certain about that. I just can't shake the feeling in the back of my mind.

 

[Winky]

Inkster, the Shark is right.
Don't doom yourself to a life of loneliness.

 

[tonksy]

ink? i have those same irrational fears. i think it's a defense mechanism. what you have to remind yourself is that annie doesn't deserve to be held against other womens mistakes or general lack of character.
but then the other side of the coin is that when these things don't happen i think that he should be with someone more deserving or some other self depriciating crap.....anyway...i understand.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Where the hell do you live??

I'm in Charleston South Carolina. The only thing good is the weather.

 

[Gonz]

All those feelings are just that, feelings. They have no bearing in the real world. You can't stop or change them, which is why they create such havoc. On the other hand, if the person is the right one, those feelings will diminish & disappear IF the other person is the right one.

 

[unclehobart]

Unc... hit up the building materials section of your friendly local Home Depot and get some Henry 208R roof patch. You can put it on even when it's raining.

*adds to the list

 

[abooja]

I'm in Charleston South Carolina. The only thing good is the weather.

You're actually telling me you don't like the food?!

 

[Inkara1]

Get a load of this: I got on yahoo this afternoon, and up popped a little box with a request from Brandi to add me to her list. Also there was a message: "hey, just thought I would write and see if you're finished being an asshole." So after I pressed "deny," it gave me the option to say something. I said, "think about what you wrote to me and it should be obvious why I'd deny your request."

Amazing.

Also, it's looking like the other shoe might be about to drop with Annie after all. She suddenly seems to be pissed off that I'm alive, or at least that's how she's acting. She says she gets real annoyed when I ramble on about nothing on the phone... even though I did absolutely nothing different from when I first met her.

 

[ClaireBear]

Also, it's looking like the other shoe might be about to drop with Annie after all. She suddenly seems to be pissed off that I'm alive, or at least that's how she's acting. She says she gets real annoyed when I ramble on about nothing on the phone... even though I did absolutely nothing different from when I first met her.

Okay.... *CB the queen of shit relationships cracks knuckles in anticipation... snatches pad and pencil... and looks at Ink lying on the couch from over the top of her glasses*

So.. you are tellink me about dis girl Aaron...Ya?

Now vhat is de topic of dis conversation... Football? Baseball?

Could it be perhaps... one sided in interest?

Or perhaps it is simply "too deep?" Some peoples have great difficulty in espressing demselves through the medium of de phone... I for one would rather... how do you say?... "eat shit" dan discuss anyding too emotional... drough an electrical implement...



Serously though Aaron... crappy German accent aside... (sorry about that btw! ) the "emotional fuckwittage" is something which I hate to discuss over the phone... in fact I hate phones and phone conversations entirely. I'm not a trusting person... I hate me and expect everyone else to too... So if I can't see someone's physical reaction/responses to me when speaking to me I get on edge.

My ex used to torture me... holding me on the phone for 40-50 minutes at a time... discussing "problems" in our relationship... I was literally squirming and writhing on the floor in agony!!!

Just a thought...

Or perhaps... don't talk about the cars, the phones, the football etc etc etc as much... and just because she didn't mention it before doesn't mean she didn't notice it and/or hate it to start with... she may have made allowances for early stage nerves.

 

[Inkara1]

Well, I was finally able to get a hold of her tonight and talk a little bit about this. I guess she's not super-mad or anything... but I asked if she still wants to hang out and stuff and she said, "I don't care."

I don't know about you, but I've had enough experience with girls now to know that you don't tell someone you want to be in a relationship with that you don't care if you hang out or not. What this tells me is that it's pretty obvious she and I have different goals for what will happen with the two of us.

Now, the twist is that there's a girl named Christina who I've liked for a really long time. I liked her even before I met Annie, but she didn't have any time for a relationship at the time, and by the time I found out she'd be able to have the time, I'd already met Annie and had been dropping hints and stuff, so I didn't want to just pull out of that and go running back to Christina. I didn't think it would be fair to myself or to Annie, so I wanted to keep up with that and see if there's anything there. But I was always in a bit of a love triangle, I guess, because I didn't just stop liking Christina when Annie was there.

I checked with Christina to make sure she wouldn't feel like she's the "second choice" girl. It's not like I'm going, "oh, Annie's not working out so I'll get together with Christina just because she's there just so I'll have someone." Christina and I are very comfortable around each other and we seem to communicate quite well. We also have a lot of things in common, especially in how we like our relationships to be. This part is important, because I've had trouble with that driving the girl away in the past (I need the relationship defined... as in, it actually being said that we're going out, instead of just dating and figuring it out that way... you together? Gee, never really thought about that... yeah, I'm more along the lines of "are we together?" yes or no).

So I'd venture to guess that a relationship with her would work out well, and it's looking like we're about ready to give it a shot.

My only worry is a what if... what if Annie really did want a relationship after all? I can reassure myself, because what she said makes it look like she doesn't... and I think she'd be understanding or wouldn't really care too much when I tell her about my decision anyway. I don't want to stop talking to Annie... but I'm thinking more now that I'd be doing what's best for myself if I explored things further with Christina.

 

[A.B.Normal]

in fact I hate phones and phone conversations entirely. I'm not a trusting person... I hate me and expect everyone else to too... So if I can't see someone's physical reaction/responses to me when speaking to me I get on edge.

*someone who also hates the phone and for the same reasons as me.

 

[A.B.Normal]

Well, I was finally able to get a hold of her tonight and talk a little bit about this. I guess she's not super-mad or anything... but I asked if she still wants to hang out and stuff and she said, "I don't care."

I don't know about you, but I've had enough experience with girls now to know that you don't tell someone you want to be in a relationship with that you don't care if you hang out or not. What this tells me is that it's pretty obvious she and I have different goals for what will happen with the two of us.

Now, the twist is that there's a girl named Christina who I've liked for a really long time. I liked her even before I met Annie, but she didn't have any time for a relationship at the time, and by the time I found out she'd be able to have the time, I'd already met Annie and had been dropping hints and stuff, so I didn't want to just pull out of that and go running back to Christina. I didn't think it would be fair to myself or to Annie, so I wanted to keep up with that and see if there's anything there. But I was always in a bit of a love triangle, I guess, because I didn't just stop liking Christina when Annie was there.

I checked with Christina to make sure she wouldn't feel like she's the "second choice" girl. It's not like I'm going, "oh, Annie's not working out so I'll get together with Christina just because she's there just so I'll have someone." Christina and I are very comfortable around each other and we seem to communicate quite well. We also have a lot of things in common, especially in how we like our relationships to be. This part is important, because I've had trouble with that driving the girl away in the past (I need the relationship defined... as in, it actually being said that we're going out, instead of just dating and figuring it out that way... you together? Gee, never really thought about that... yeah, I'm more along the lines of "are we together?" yes or no).

So I'd venture to guess that a relationship with her would work out well, and it's looking like we're about ready to give it a shot.

My only worry is a what if... what if Annie really did want a relationship after all? I can reassure myself, because what she said makes it look like she doesn't... and I think she'd be understanding or wouldn't really care too much when I tell her about my decision anyway. I don't want to stop talking to Annie... but I'm thinking more now that I'd be doing what's best for myself if I explored things further with Christina.

Well people sometimes have bad weeks ,how long has this been going on??? Does she have anything going on that may be stressing her work/school/parents-family members (illness)/financial

 

[Inkara1]

The acting pissy has been going on for a few days now... but her interest seems to have dwindled for a while anyway.

 

[ClaireBear]

Many people don't like or need labels...

As well as phones (Here's the punch line AB... I work in a callcentre!!! ) I also hate pressure to define my feelings... which is obviously what you, like so many of my ex's, need to get through a relationship...

My idea of Hell... My man repeatedly asking me if I love him or if we're "going out" over the phone!!!

I damn well do feel the same in most cases... but I'm probably more likely to scream down the phone "f**K off! F**k off! You mad psycho clingy bastard!"

Obviously my relationship track record has proven bumpy...

What I'm saying is... you never know really truly how the other person feels... especially so early into things you "mad psycho clingy bastard"

Sorry just had to...

 

[Inkara1]

Well people sometimes have bad weeks ,how long has this been going on??? Does she have anything going on that may be stressing her work/school/parents-family members (illness)/financial

Aww, fuck... why'd you have to go and think of that? Now I can't shake the feeling that maybe you're right... but now I've pretty well gotten things going with Christina and I can't just renege on that either.