The Corrupted Wish Game

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. You will spend the entire day with Bish discussing politics.

I wish there was a decent place in town to get a cup of real cappuchino.

 

[tommyj27]

Granted, Starbucks buys out all coffee-serving establishments in town, you couldn't get a cup of black if you wanted, not to mention every cup of coffee now costs $4.50

I wish for all the tea in china.

 

[Professur]

Granted. All the tea is now in china.

I wish it would rain harder.

 

[tommyj27]

Granted, better start building an ark.

I wish the glass were half-full.

 

[Professur]

granted. You just spilt the other half into your lap


I wish I had an ark.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted. It is illegally parked in front of a government agency and you're accruing parking fines from it.

I wish I could dump a dead car ('91 Century needs a new engine, ain't worth it) without having to hire a goddamn lawyer to get through all the red tape around here.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Granted...unfortunately, you have to be dumped with it...

I wish people would take life a bit more seriously.

 

[tommyj27]

Granted, a Funeral Parlor opens on every corner.

I wish i had me some wimins.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Granted. You have more women around you than you can count. Of course, they call themselves womyn, and are fanatical lesbians who believe all men should be castrated, but, hey, it's your wish...

I wish I could leave work early tonight...

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. The ambulance is on the way.

I wish tonight's supper had tasted better.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Granted. It was the best meal you ever had. Unfortunately, it was contaminated with an unknown strain of salmonella, so you get to taste it again...from the opposite direction.

I wish I didn't get stupid questions at work...

 

[Inkara1]

Granted... you get REALLY FUCKING STUPID questions at work instead of simply stupid questions.

I wish I had some motivation for losing weight besides stepping on the scale and telling myself, "damn, I'm fat," since that doesn't seem to be working.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Granted... you get REALLY FUCKING STUPID questions at work instead of simply stupid questions.

I wish I had some motivation for losing weight besides stepping on the scale and telling myself, "damn, I'm fat," since that doesn't seem to be working.

Granted. Now your scale, your floor, all your appliances, all of your electrical outlets, and all of your plumbing shout, every time you walk by, "WHAT A LARDASS"...

I wish Inky wouldn't make this corruption so easy.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, he gets a new bad joke book to unleash on us. Thanks a lot, Gato!

I wish I could find a bad joke book.

 

[Inkara1]

Granted. I just signed the book deal this morning.

I wish the Jehovah's Witnesses wouldn't stop by here.

 

[Nixy]

Granted. I just signed the book deal this morning.

I wish the Jehovah's Witnesses wouldn't stop by here.

Granted, now you ARE Jehovah's witness so they have no need to stop by anymore

I wish the jello shooters for tonight's party would make themselves...

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. They make themselves disappear.

I wish I had an office door instead of this God cursed cubicle.

 

[MrBishop]

Granted. They make themselves disappear.

I wish I had an office door instead of this God cursed cubicle.

Granted...your desk is now on the office door and you have no more cubby-walls

I wish that I had a dollar for every time someone sneezed

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Granted. Now the governent taxes income from sneezing at $2 a pop.

I wish this phone would stop ringing.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, it now will only sound 'La Cucaracha' every time someone calls instead. I know that would drive me insane in a matter of minutes...

I wish the village would stop citing us for having too tall weeds. We're the only people on the block who are growing anything this year in the drought!